Among Friends

[Financialgrl]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Personally, I would rather my money went to help with a down payment, than a gift that they may, or may not use.

But that's just me.

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Agree, and I'm sure this has been or will be brought up - I seriously can't remember the last time I went to a wedding where the couple hadn't lived together for years already.  My niece is getting married in June, they met in college and have masters degrees with very good jobs, and have lived together for 2 years.  

They are millenials and I'd never try to choose something for their house, etc.  For her bridal shower I'll pick something from her registry and for the wedding send her a card with a check in it.   No matter how many checks they get, it won't have to be returned bc they have multiples of one kitchen item, ugly, wrong size, etc.  BUT I will give a check for the amount I can afford and would have spent on a gift anyway.

[BeccaLou]

That would something I didn't buy for us. My Husband Bought me one a few years ago and I really enjoy having it.

[BeccaLou]

I just say Thank-You for not inviting me. I don't need this crazy hassle I never have been invited to any of their houses after, never met their spouse to be , so thank-You for checking me off the list.Amen to this!!

[BeccaLou]

What the world is to fancy, they don't use pencils anymore?????

[BeccaLou]

What I think is not right is flying to the wedding, and then paying for a hotel, then a gift. This non-sense. I don't get wedding invites and I am really glad after reading this non-sense of do's and don'ts. Just go away, don't go away mad, just go away!!

[BeccaLou]

I was invited to a wedding years ago. And we were all told NO GIFTS PLEASE!! Just come and happily help share our SPECIAL DAY!!!!Now that is respectable. We thoughly enjoyed ourselves. With no pressure.

[BeccaLou]

The money was given, not borrowed. I think that would not be a problem.

[JB116]

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@NicksmomESQ wrote:

  I think that it’s tacky to ask people to contribute toward a down payment on a house.Young people have to learn a little self control.Life is about choices.It’s unfair to plan a big wedding that you can’t afford & then ask people to help you buy a house!!

  I was at a fancy wedding that had a cash bar!! DH went to get us some drinks & after ordering them he was told “that will be $10”!! Everyone complained. People walked away from the bar leaving their drinks behind out of principle.

  The brides grandmother was surprised & embarrassed. She stepped in & covered the bar tab.She spent the rest of the evening apologizing for her granddaughters “bad choice “.The parents of the couple were to uncomfortable to deal with it.

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See I don't mind a cash bar at all at a wedding, as long as you know BEFORE the reception starts.

When there is free booze available there will always be some people who just drink too much and cause disruptions. This happened at my own reception and all I can say for myself is I would NEVER offer free booze at a party again.