Among Friends

[dex]

I have not seen nor heard from him in 63 years but I decided to google his name.He passed away four years ago so I guess that part of my life is closed.I was shocked to read that he was living in a small community not far from where I spend my summers every year.I grocery shop in the small town where he lived.We could have passed each other in the grocery store and I never even once dreamed of that.I wonder if he would have recognized me as I look much like my mother.I don’t know why I regret not looking him up sooner.He knew where we lived as my mom never moved until she went into a senior facility.He had moved on and away,remarried and started a new family shortly after he left my mom so I think as far as he was concerned that part of his life was over.I don’t understand why I never bothered to just google his name sooner.

[Bird mama]

@dex  I'm sorry for your loss and even sorrier that he missed an opportunity of a lifetime to know his beautiful daughter.

[Sooner]

I am so sorry for your less.  But please don't dwell on regrets.  It's easy to have a vision of the perfect reunion, but hard to look at what might have not been such a happy one. In reality, there is a lot of disappointment that would have been as likely as anything else.

Sometimes we have to let go no matter what might have been.  At least for me that is how I made peace with the past.  

[Havarti]

Things happen when they do for a reason.  You many not immediately know the reason, but something in you wanted to know at this time so trust that the timing was right.  I hope in time this information brings you peace.  Knowing he stayed close, I would bet he followed your life's successes more closely that you were aware....just my own opinion.

[nova]

@dex  I am sorry for this shock and wide range of emotions you must be feeling.  All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep going forward.  There is no point in torturing yourself with all the "could have", "would have" or "should have" thoughts.  Stay positive.

[dex]

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@Bird mama wrote:

@dex  I'm sorry for your loss and even sorrier that he missed an opportunity of a lifetime to know his beautiful daughter.

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Do you think I should mention this to my mother?She has lately started telling me more about him.I don’t know if she would be upset..It seems that she is reliving the past a lot more now.

[Bird mama]

@dex   I wouldn't be quick to volunteer the information at this time.  I would wait and see depending on the nature of the conversations that your mother has about your father.  Does that make sense?  Being abandoned by a husband is a hurtin' thing and you know your mother better than anyone.  You'll know if and when the time is right to tell her.

[Anonymous032819]

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@dex wrote:

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@Bird mama wrote:

@dex  I'm sorry for your loss and even sorrier that he missed an opportunity of a lifetime to know his beautiful daughter.

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Do you think I should mention this to my mother?She has lately started telling me more about him.I don’t know if she would be upset..It seems that she is reliving the past a lot more now.

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@dex 

I wouldn't mention it to your mom.

Why upset her?

[nova]

@dex  If you are not sure how your Mom would handle it - I would think twice before letting her know.  After 63 years of him being gone it might just bring her more hurt than closure and her feelings would be my main concern.  Your gut will guide you.

[dex]

@Bird mama @I think I will wait like you said and think this over.I am just very surprised by my emotions over this.He left when I was two so why would I still have feelings about him..that’s what I am trying to figure out.