Among Friends

[haddon9]

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@Texasmouse wrote:

@Mindy D I'm annoyed by people who are early too. I think it's equally rude to be early as late.

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I have to agree with this as well.  For those who pat themselves on the back when they are extra early...well others see it as being just as rude as being late!

[jackthebear]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

And now for the rest of the story.   The tardy one was ringing my door bell 20 minutes after I left, I don't do malls often but I decide to pop in to the one near me.  Not the big mall we planned to go to.  I was pulling into the parking lot when she phone me with her "where are you?  I'm outside".  I told her I couldn't wait any longer, I was losing the day so I left.  There were no more "on my way" texts so I assume she canceled.  I got a frosty "where are you now" and since I did not want to hear "I'll meet your there" ; I just said "I don't know where I'm going, talk to you next week".   She is one of those people who is chronically tardy and we all just let it go because we know we can't change her after all these years.  Honestly, I should not have waited as long as I did.  I know after that first text, I should have responded  "10 more  minutes and I leave".  Anyway, that was that.  I  did some window shopping, got to see what the stores are offering for spring.  Picked up a couple of white tees for my vacation.  There was a discussion about 5 Guys Burgers, I stopped in and bought a cheeseburger with bacon and fries to take take home.  They are $$ and the burger was small and messy looking.  I guess I'm a McDonald's girl.  I left it for hubby, he ate it when he got in later that night.  I didn't waste my money.   

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good for you for leaving and doing your thing, don't let her do that to you again 

[missy1]

I don't have time for tardiness.

[Starpolisher]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

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@Texasmouse wrote:

@Mindy D I'm annoyed by people who are early too. I think it's equally rude to be early as late.

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       If you are talking about dinner or a social function; it's perfectly ok to be 15 minutes early.   Being late....is never ok.

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Growing up, this is what I was taught( in school and at home.) 

I was taught that this was the rule for any occasion or appointment. This is the rule I follow. I can't stand tardiness. Baring an emergency, I see no reason why people can't be on time. Don't they know how long it takes them to get ready or have sense enough to leave early if they don't know where they are going? Even that is no excuse today with all this technology to help you find directions. My Dh and his whole family are always late and I hate it. I have a sibling like this also. You always have to tell them at least a half hour earlier if you want them to arrive even close to the right time. My son and ddil had their wedding invites printed to say half an hour earlier than the actual ceremony was to start because of this(ddil said there were some non clock users on her side as well!) My dh's family is so bad that the entire immediate family(every one of her children - 7 of them) was late for his mother's funeral!(no lie) I was with them and different members of my family were calling me asking where we were? My brother called and said the church is full and no family members here yet! That's how they are and I hate it! I have no patience for Tardiness!

[hckynut]

(thread title)

@chrystaltree

Neither can I. Further, I have left many a meeting place when my, always tardy sis, went past my 15 minute grace time. Same with friends when racing cars. One friend, always late, got left by me when he went past my grace time. He ended up driving alone on this 200 mile out of town trip.

My 52 years of running my adult hockey league, you come way late? You don't play. Come late too often, you become a former player. I see my time as important as the next "yahoo", regardless of their social or business status. 

Seldom a good reason(excuse) for habitually late individuals, at least the way I see it.

hckynut

[hckynut]

@Krimpette

During my working days(had to punch clock) I found the guys that lived the closest were always running to hit the clock on time. My drive was 25-30 minutes, in good weather. I always punched in at least 20 minutes early(no pay until starting time) because many things could happen on that long drive. Always seemed strange to me!

hckynut

[hckynut]

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@vacationday wrote:

How odd!  I think if this had happened to me, I'd be worried for her welfare instead of posting a scathing attack on her character without even knowing what happened!

No way could I ever be friends with such a judgemental person who jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts.  If your friend really did show up late on purpose then obviously she has no respect for you and you need to just move on.   

@vacationday

Odd?  Not to me! I call it, like normal.  Sounds like you might not be, or have been, around such situations much. Unless we are talking, Nebraska blizzard, or a tornado, why would I think "the worst happened"?  Not my MO for sure, I think in more realistic terms, I guess. To each their own! 

hckynut(john)

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[hckynut]

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@vacationday wrote:

Well how odd that chyrstaltree never came back to tell us that her friend was all right or maybe suffered some terrible accident on the way or had some terrible news from a family member that necessitated she be elsewhere.  Friends give one another the benefit of the doubt. 

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@vacationday

Again with it's @chrystaltree fault?  Uh, uh, uh!

hckynut

[hckynut]

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@Mindy D wrote:

I usually give all people the benefit of the doubt about their reasons for being late. I am very annoyed by people that are early. I’ve also noticed that many of those that strive to be on time are very speedy drivers. I’m extremely upset by a no-show, but I wait to judge until I hear the reason for it. 

Hi @Mindy D,

Looks like we might not hit it off. "Benefit of the doubt"? Yes, but 1 time. I am early at events/work and so forth, but never to a home invite, that I understand.

Now on the speedy driver part? My last ticket was in 1960. I find just the opposite with drivers. When I was working I had a long drive. My shift started at 8am, and almost every day, on the interstate, I would see this Engineer(no time clock to punch) fly by me. Their shift started at 7:30am and the "fly-by" was usually about 7:25-6am.

Be well now,    =^..^=

hckynut

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[dex]

@chrystaltree@Oops I didn’t see your post of situation update.I think you waited a very reasonably long amount of time so I think you were right to get on with your day.I think that if you do make plans with that person again it would be best to let her know that you will wait a certain amount of time and after that you will be unavailable so she can make other plans as well.