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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 95
Registered: ‎01-29-2019

Re: I can't stand tardiness.


Here it is almost 2pm, I've been sitting here waiting for my friend to come since 1pm.  We've had this lunch/shopping date planned since Dec.  She said she would drive.  Two "only my way" texts and she still isn't here.  It's a nice day and I don't want to waste it waiting for her.  When she does finally get here, I know I'll be in a bad mood.  The good thing is that I'm not at the restaurant waiting for her to roll in 45 minutes late which has  happened.  I think in 15 minutes if she isn't here, I'll call it off and just go out by myself for a bit and then come back and make the lasagna I'm taking to a birthday party tomorrow.  


You wrote this in real time while it was happening.  Certainly you know by now what happened to your friend! 

 

SMH

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,167
Registered: ‎04-04-2014

Re: I can't stand tardiness.

@chrystaltree, your post took me back to my days in college and graduate school.  As a student, we were only required to wait for a full Professor (tenured PhD) for 15 minutes.  Lesser teachers (eg, Instuctors) had less grace period.

 

to me, this is about respecting another’s time as much as I respect my own.  Unless something unforeseen happens, to me, your friend should have updated her status during your wait.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,231
Registered: ‎01-05-2017

Re: I can't stand tardiness.


@chrystaltree wrote:

Here it is almost 2pm, I've been sitting here waiting for my friend to come since 1pm.  We've had this lunch/shopping date planned since Dec.  She said she would drive.  Two "only my way" texts and she still isn't here.  It's a nice day and I don't want to waste it waiting for her.  When she does finally get here, I know I'll be in a bad mood.  The good thing is that I'm not at the restaurant waiting for her to roll in 45 minutes late which has  happened.  I think in 15 minutes if she isn't here, I'll call it off and just go out by myself for a bit and then come back and make the lasagna I'm taking to a birthday party tomorrow.  


Unless I had received a call or text indicating she was caught in traffic or some other good reason that would indicate a wait more than 30 minutes, I would have left already. If you wait ridiculous amounts of time for someone who is always late, you are enabling them.Smiley Happy

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,483
Registered: ‎10-19-2011

Re: I can't stand tardiness.

I ended a 35yr. friendship due to this issue....I'd wait hours...then she'd call and have some lame excuse and would not come.

 

She'd tell me how she loved me so much as her friend and we'd get together the next day.........same ol thing... another excuse.. unless she needed money.....she'd stay about 12 minutes... and suddenly rush out saying she had to meet someone... then text or email me "Sorry honey...I do love you and you are part of my family and I worry about you so much....."

 

Un huh.....sure....

 

I said "Bring my house key back...this is no friendship. It's insanity for me."

 

She went on to belittle me and I said "Well sweetie, if I've been that bad all these years helping you and your family and kids, I'm sure you will not want to look at that Tiffany lamp I gave you so drop it back off too with my house key.." 

 

(Hurt. Had to be done.) 

 

 

-Do Not Copy Pls-
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,371
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I can't stand tardiness.


@chrystaltree wrote:

Here it is almost 2pm, I've been sitting here waiting for my friend to come since 1pm.  We've had this lunch/shopping date planned since Dec.  She said she would drive.  Two "only my way" texts and she still isn't here.  It's a nice day and I don't want to waste it waiting for her.  When she does finally get here, I know I'll be in a bad mood.  The good thing is that I'm not at the restaurant waiting for her to roll in 45 minutes late which has  happened.  I think in 15 minutes if she isn't here, I'll call it off and just go out by myself for a bit and then come back and make the lasagna I'm taking to a birthday party tomorrow.  


 

My in-laws were always an hour late for everything.  Years ago, I started making plans with them with the time an hour earlier than I wanted.  They were then just a few minutes late rather than an hour late.  

 

Have you had a sit-down with your friend about her tardiness?  If not, do it now.  In a kind way, let her know it frustrates you and ask her to be on time in the future.  Then let it go and see what happens.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,031
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: I can't stand tardiness.

Unless she was in a wreck and cannot use her phone, it is inexcusable.  I would either leave or put on a note on the door for her and go out or wait and have a discussion about it.  I have never had a friend like that but have had family members that just show up if or when they feel like it.  I just have learned not to make plans with them and then I won't get mad anymore.  I think it is such an insult when someone does not feel you are important enough to be on time or show up.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,918
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: I can't stand tardiness.

And now for the rest of the story.   The tardy one was ringing my door bell 20 minutes after I left, I don't do malls often but I decide to pop in to the one near me.  Not the big mall we planned to go to.  I was pulling into the parking lot when she phone me with her "where are you?  I'm outside".  I told her I couldn't wait any longer, I was losing the day so I left.  There were no more "on my way" texts so I assume she canceled.  I got a frosty "where are you now" and since I did not want to hear "I'll meet your there" ; I just said "I don't know where I'm going, talk to you next week".   She is one of those people who is chronically tardy and we all just let it go because we know we can't change her after all these years.  Honestly, I should not have waited as long as I did.  I know after that first text, I should have responded  "10 more  minutes and I leave".  Anyway, that was that.  I  did some window shopping, got to see what the stores are offering for spring.  Picked up a couple of white tees for my vacation.  There was a discussion about 5 Guys Burgers, I stopped in and bought a cheeseburger with bacon and fries to take take home.  They are $$ and the burger was small and messy looking.  I guess I'm a McDonald's girl.  I left it for hubby, he ate it when he got in later that night.  I didn't waste my money.   

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,351
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I can't stand tardiness.

Tardiness, to me, is the ultimate in rudeness. My grandfather taught us if you aren’t 10 minutes early,then you are 20 minutes late. Sure, sometimes there is a valid reason for being late, but when it happens everytime, then that person is saying that their time is much more valuable than yours. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,510
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: I can't stand tardiness.

I’m rarely bothered by the tardiness of others. This does depend on a particular circumstance though. I’m bothered if someone is late to a sit-down dinner or a plane flight. I’m bothered when I don’t hear anything from the person who is running late. This is of utmost importance to me. I usually give all people the benefit of the doubt about their reasons for being late. I am very annoyed by people that are early. I’ve also noticed that many of those that strive to be on time are very speedy drivers. I’m extremely upset by a no-show, but I wait to judge until I hear the reason for it. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,697
Registered: ‎09-27-2010

Re: I can't stand tardiness.

@Mindy D I'm annoyed by people who are early too. I think it's equally rude to be early as late.