Among Friends

[chrystaltree]

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@Texasmouse wrote:

@Mindy D I'm annoyed by people who are early too. I think it's equally rude to be early as late.

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       If you are talking about dinner or a social function; it's perfectly ok to be 15 minutes early.   Being late....is never ok.

[Mindy D]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

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@Texasmouse wrote:

@Mindy D I'm annoyed by people who are early too. I think it's equally rude to be early as late.

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       If you are talking about dinner or a social function; it's perfectly ok to be 15 minutes early.   Being late....is never ok.

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To me, ‘on time’ means ‘on time’. I prefer on time to early. I don’t get my feathers ruffled if someone is fifteen minutes early, but I’d rather they would be no more than five minutes early because I’m always checking details and the last couple of minutes before the set time for the event is when I get mentally composed. I don’t mind if people are early to the type of job in which no one else is bothered if they are early. I do mind if I own the business and employees show up an hour and a half before they are scheduled and the place is not opened yet. I also mind when friends arrive at restaurant fifteen minutes early and five minutes after the time we are set to meet they are getting impatient. Of course they are feeling this way. They added fifteen minutes to their wait time. Anyway, I am very easy going about this time thing. I do notice that the early birds are highly reluctantant to pitch in at work when they are asked to stay late for any reason. They are usually the first ones in the parking lot to leave on Friday and they rarely give their time after their set work day. I’ll almost always stay late if it will help. The only time I won’t stay is if there I have another obligation.

Sorry, I forgot to add that being on time to class is important. Any late arrivals interrupt the lesson. Arriving during the change of class, before the tardy bell is fine. Late is also a big no when parents are attending meetings with teachers before the school day. Teachers have to be in class when the bell rings. They can’t wait for parents the arrive after meeting time. Showing up early to parent teacher conferences can also be a problem. There might be no one in the meeting room if the parent arrives too early. All in all, I like to be a bit flexible. It’s very hard to time everything exactly. There are so many variables affecting on time performance. Being reasonable is another consideration. Showing up an hour late for dinner without making contact with your friends would be rude. 

[libbyannE]

Chronic lateness is rude. The tardy person is saying that your time is not important. It’s simply inexcusable, and you are tprighf to be angry. I’m Sure you will tell this person how you feel and/or simply avoid doing things with her in the future. 

[vacationday]

Maybe the tardy friend should be invited to these forums.

I would like to hear her side of the story.  

[MJDinVegas]

@Mindy D, I appreciate your balancing my look at this issue.  I prefer to be early but not by much, since as you pointed out last minute details can need attention.  I will remember your input the next time I need to be at an event to ensure I’m not too early.  Thank you! 

[shoptilyadropagain]

I no longer tolerate tardiness.  After 15 minutes, I'm on my way and once it's happened two or three times, I no longer make plans with that person.  If it is a holiday meal with family members, we start without them.

[Mumof2]

Chronic tardiness basically says your time is not as important as mine.  That's not a message anyone should want to send to a friend.

I know some mentioned if it's an emergency and that is why someone is late which I can understand, but this the poster says this is the usual behavior of being late.

[Vivian]

I am notoriously on time. Those who are habitually late are on my enemies’ list. It is rude, controlling, inconsiderate, and bossy. There is something uncaring about being late all the time. I have no patience for such people.

[dex]

@chrystaltree@Well how did it turn out...did your friend show up with a good excuse or did you go out on your own?

[ID2]

OP, I can't see that this is a win-win situation. You feel angry and crummy for how you handled your friend. And your friend, like it or not, is hurt.