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Contributor
Posts: 55
Registered: ‎06-20-2010

My DH has metastatic  malignant melanoma.  He is currently in clinical trials at the James cancer Hospital and doing strong immunotherapy infusions.  He has many issues with side effects, however, thankfully his last CAT scan showed tumors have shrunk significantly.  Thank God for that.  Here is my problem... he has gas all the time and the smell is beyond nasty.  I know he cant help it but he makes no effort to spare me. He wont step outside or go to bathroom and turn fan on..  i sleep in guest room and have yankee candles in every room. But i swear the smell is penetrating the house.. it seems to linger..   frebreeze only helps so much. He cant go 15 minutes without passing this foul stink.  It has been months now and i am thinking of divorce...it is BAD!  Thing is I love him so much. We are very happy been married 33 years but this smell is bad... i feel like I am the most terrible person, i would be willing to have my sense of smell removed if I could.  I get angry when he laughs at me. He refuses to see how much this bothers me! If the tumors don't go away completely he will have to be on these meds the rest of his life..   anyone else been through this?  How do you handle it?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,430
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

tough one. have you tried rubbing a little vicks under your nose. that's what they used to do at crime scenes. can't smell any worse than decomp, right?

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,293
Registered: ‎08-14-2013

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

Have you asked his doctor about it? I'm sure he/she could help your husband. Good luck!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,096
Registered: ‎12-17-2011

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

First of all you are not a terrible person. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for you on how to handle this I really don’t even know how I would handle it. But how you feel doesn’t make you terrible.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,557
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

@Kelseys Mimi The only thing I can think of is to have a frank discussion with his doctor and see if there are ANY remedies for this problem.

 

I'm guessing this is not uncommon and hopefully the doctor can be of assistance. I wish you all the best, I can't imagine how unpleasant that this is.

 

Please come back and let us know if you and DH are able to get some remedy for this nasty problem.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,837
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!


@wishmoon wrote:

Have you asked his doctor about it? I'm sure he/she could help your husband. Good luck!


 

 

I agree with wishmoon.  You need to speak to his doctor about it.  There are things they can give him to help with gas.


The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau





Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,903
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

@Kelseys Mimi :  Try Ozium (not Febreze) and try Goose Creek candles (not Yankee).  These two substitutions may help some.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,736
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

Get a really strong air purifier. I have one that actually shows the air quality and adjusts the fan speed accordintly.

 

When I cut onions or burn something in the kitchen, the indicator turns red and the fan runs faster--out in the living room.

 

To get DH's buy in to spend a little extra on the device, I told him I'd found an air purifier with a fart detector. He loves it, in a grade-school way. I love it too because I can prove when he farted. I just point to the air quality indicator.

 

So, get an air purifier with a fart detctor! You'll thank me. Woman LOL Woman Wink

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,147
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

My husband had massive diarrhea, for months when he had cancer, it was just HORRIBLE,i had such a hard time with that.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Super Contributor
Posts: 329
Registered: ‎10-17-2011

Re: I am a TERRIBLE bad person!

 

there are charcoal underpants liners just for that kind of thing,I believe you can order from Amazon. it might help some. I know how you feel as I have a really sensitive nose and my husband has intestinal cancer and extremely bad gas aaalll the time and it smells like something died up in there. his gastrointestinal dr. did put him on probiotics which helped a lot. 
I never felt like divorce though. sorry 😐.