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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,527
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: I Just Ran Into This And The Description-And Truths Are Right On (I think)

I attended my first grief support group meeting today. Going to group things is out of my comfort zone, but I pushed myself to do it. I'm glad I did. Very nice people. Almost all widows.

 

I was comforted knowing I was not alone dealing with this painful reality called grief. I definitely plan on going back to this group.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 674
Registered: ‎07-17-2019

Re: I Just Ran Into This And The Description-And Truths Are Right On (I think)

@catwhisperer  

 

I am so glad that you have found some comfort in your group. (It took me 3 groups to find the right fit for me).

People there will understand and share  their experiences on this unfortunate journey.  No one volunteers to join a grief group. But stick it out. The second year is hard.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,527
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: I Just Ran Into This And The Description-And Truths Are Right On (I think)


@Zaimee wrote:

@catwhisperer  

 

I am so glad that you have found some comfort in your group. (It took me 3 groups to find the right fit for me).

People there will understand and share  their experiences on this unfortunate journey.  No one volunteers to join a grief group. But stick it out. The second year is hard.


@Zaimee .....Thank you. One of the members of the group I attended was talking about how some groups are better than others and you may have to try different ones until you find the right fit. I am also planning on attending a widow/widower's group that starts up next month.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 29,019
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: I Just Ran Into This And The Description-And Truths Are Right On (I think)


@catwhisperer wrote:

The issue I am running into is the friends/family who say, "How can I help you, let me know if you need anything". Okay, so I tell them I need help with something, they say they will help me, then do not show up as promised. No phone call, no nothing. WTH????? This is exactly why I do not trust people and cannot depend on anyone but  myself. Smiley Sad


 

 

@catwhisperer   When my folks died and many years before, my brother, I experienced the same...offers of help & then nothing. I don’t “ask” anyone who’s grieving, now I just “do”. If it’s dinner time, I show up w/ casserole & salad. When a week has passed since their loved one’s funeral, I show up w/ basics from the grocery...milk, bread, eggs, cereals, pastries, etc. Surely, it’s not on their mind to shop. I’ve stopped by at 7:30AM to say “I’ll drop the kids off at school today & be there to pick them up”. That’s one less thing for them to have to think about when minds are filled w/ grief. I’ll ask if their car needs to be filled, prescriptions need to be picked up, etc. When deep in grief, everything seems overwhelming. The slightest things we can do for someone is monumental. Most importantly, don’t wait to be thanked. Your heart knows you’re doing what’s right.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,527
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: I Just Ran Into This And The Description-And Truths Are Right On (I think)

@Shanus ...that is so kind of you to bring food and help with errands. You are right, the smallest things are overwhelming.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: I Just Ran Into This And The Description-And Truths Are Right On (I think)

[ Edited ]



@catwhisperer wrote:

The issue I am running into is the friends/family who say, "How can I help you, let me know if you need anything". Okay, so I tell them I need help with something, they say they will help me, then do not show up as promised. No phone call, no nothing. WTH????? This is exactly why I do not trust people and cannot depend on anyone but  myself. Smiley Sad


@catwhisperer 

 

Oh yes, you definitely find out who your real friends are.  If you’re lucky, you have one or two that rise to the occasion.  

 

Everyone is there immediately afterwards with offers of help and assistance.  But wait a few months, or even more so, years, when daily life sets in and you need assistance with mundane chores, and no one is to be found.  They assume because you’re up and functional, you’ve “gotten over” everything and are just “fine”, like before.  Even one of my doctors said something like that to me not long ago—a year and half after my husband had been gone.  It cut me deeply.

 

Sometimes I feel sorry for the people who think that “everything is fine now”.  They must never have known the kind of relationship my husband and I shared.  

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Posts: 674
Registered: ‎07-17-2019

Re: I Just Ran Into This And The Description-And Truths Are Right On (I think)

Saw this posted on Lessons Learned in Life...

 

“Don’t expect anyone to understand your journey, especially if they’ve never walked your path.”

 

So true. Healing that broken heart takes a long time. Scar will always be there.