Among Friends

[catwhisperer]

I recently lost my husband unexpectedly. Relatives and acquaintances keep asking me if I am okay, "Hope you are good", "Hope you are doing well".

REALLY??? You expect me to be doing okay/good/well???

To avoid questions, I just say that I'm fine. The truth is that I am barely functioning and have all I can do to get through a day.

[NAES1]

   On August 20th,

     I had written a brief message that I could not be here that tomorrow, the 21st of August ~ that was when my daddy died.

 I needed to be alone and go through my treasured photos of many years ago, up to the most recent ones, and have time to reflect, go back and meditate those Golden minutes when we talked and talked and told each other how much we loved each other... every single time ~ `of each photo we had together.

I just did not belong anywhere else but home with my memories. I told only a few on Among friends.

  When my mother died so suddenly, so young, I had just left being with her for an entire week because she called me and asked: Could you be here at home with us on your spring birthday - - and I said no, mom, maybe next month, but not now.

  After I had hung up the phone, something very heavy bothered me, and by the next two hours I called her back and said I am on my way within a few hours driving many miles to another state.

 We had seven entire days to anything from shopping, eating every meal out, going to visit friends and family and watching every old movie into the night. We shopped for Mother's day gifts and what mom liked, I bought. 

 We had the best of any special time that EVER could be.

   I left at the last day of that month and reached home happy, full of life and filled with love remembering that loving wave she gave me with her blue apron on... that is encrypted in my mind forever. Within exactly 8 days the phone rang at 4am -and I was totally alone.

 My husband was on his way to another country, my son away getting ready to have an engagement ring setting made in the south, as his uncle helped him.  

   The blinding , ache of a cruel silence hearing my brother-in-law tell me point blank, as a physician would- your mother is dead.

I became numb and totally lost. 

  Yes, I understand what this beautiful message meant, that was shared, and how thankful I was intuitively told- to stop everything and go.

   That was one of the most mysterious events that had happened to me.  

Thank you for sharing and to let me know that I knew daddy and I were one more time again, together with he and my mother. 

I lot my father a few years ago and had never seen such a powerful, strong man crumble before my eyes when mama died. I love the both of you so very much, mom and daddy. 

 Your story doobdoo was so very beautiful as each lovely poster is that told a memory of love, 

@dooBdoo 

@ECBG 

@catwhisperer 

@Zaimee 

@jazzed 

~~~~~~~~~and for everyone that has a loss and so many memories.

[NAES1]

   On August 20th,

     I had written a brief message that I could not be here that tomorrow, the 21st of August ~ that was when my daddy died.

 I needed to be alone and go through my treasured photos of many years ago, up to the most recent ones, and have time to reflect, go back and meditate those Golden minutes when we talked and talked and told each other how much we loved each other... every single time ~ `of each photo we had together.

I just did not belong anywhere else but home with my memories. I told only a few on Among friends.

  When my mother died so suddenly, so young, I had just left being with her for an entire week because she called me and asked: Could you be here at home with us on your spring birthday - - and I said no, mom, maybe next month, but not now.

  After I had hung up the phone, something very heavy bothered me, and by the next two hours I called her back and said I am on my way within a few hours driving many miles to another state.

 We had seven entire days to anything from shopping, eating every meal out, going to visit friends and family and watching every old movie into the night. We shopped for Mother's day gifts and what mom liked, I bought. 

 We had the best of any special time that EVER could be.

   I left at the last day of that month and reached home happy, full of life and filled with love remembering that loving wave she gave me with her blue apron on... that is encrypted in my mind forever. Within exactly 8 days the phone rang at 4am -and I was totally alone.

 My husband was on his way to another country, my son away getting ready to have an engagement ring setting made in the south, as his uncle helped him.  

   The blinding , ache of a cruel silence hearing my brother-in-law tell me point blank, as a physician would- your mother is dead.

I became numb and totally lost. 

  Yes, I understand what this beautiful message meant, that was shared, and how thankful I was intuitively told- to stop everything and go.

   That was one of the most mysterious events that had happened to me.  

Thank you for sharing and to let me know that I knew daddy and I were one more time again, together with he and my mother. 

I lost my father a few years ago ~ and ~ had never seen such a powerful, strong man crumble before my eyes when mama died. I love the both of you so very much, mom and daddy. 

 Your story doobdoo was so very beautiful as each lovely poster is that told a memory of love, 

@dooBdoo 

@ECBG 

@catwhisperer 

@Zaimee 

@jazzed 

~~~~~~~~~and for everyone that has a loss and so many memories.

[DianeJ2]

@catwhisperer  I am so very sorry about your husband's recent passing. Yes, unfortunately people sometimes just do not know what to say with loss. In my experience, They hope you're fine sooner than later because its hard/uncomfortable  to see you in pain.  They really do mean well...but all you really want to hear is "I know you are not fine, even if you seem to be,  but I'm here for you as long as you need."   Take good care of yourself, you are in my thoughts&prayers....

[NAES1]

---

@NAES1 wrote:

   On August 20th,

     I had written a brief message that I could not be here that tomorrow, the 21st of August ~ that was when my daddy died.

 I needed to be alone and go through my treasured photos of many years ago, up to the most recent ones, and have time to reflect, go back and meditate those Golden minutes when we talked and talked and told each other how much we loved each other... every single time ~ `of each photo we had together.

I just did not belong anywhere else but home with my memories. I told only a few on Among friends.

  When my mother died so suddenly, so young, I had just left being with her for an entire week because she called me and asked: Could you be here at home with us on your spring birthday - - and I said no, mom, maybe next month, but not now.

  After I had hung up the phone, something very heavy bothered me, and by the next two hours I called her back and said I am on my way within a few hours driving many miles to another state.

 We had seven entire days to anything from shopping, eating every meal out, going to visit friends and family and watching every old movie into the night. We shopped for Mother's day gifts and what mom liked, I bought. 

 We had the best of any special time that EVER could be.

   I left at the last day of that month and reached home happy, full of life and filled with love remembering that loving wave she gave me with her blue apron on... that is encrypted in my mind forever. Within exactly 8 days the phone rang at 4am -and I was totally alone.

 My husband was on his way to another country, my son away getting ready to have an engagement ring setting made in the south, as his uncle helped him.  

   The blinding , ache of a cruel silence hearing my brother-in-law tell me point blank, as a physician would- your mother is dead.

I became numb and totally lost. 

  Yes, I understand what this beautiful message meant, that was shared, and how thankful I was intuitively told- to stop everything and go.

   That was one of the most mysterious events that had happened to me.  

Thank you for sharing and to let me know that I knew daddy and I were one more time again, together with he and my mother. 

I lost my father a few years ago ~ and ~ had never seen such a powerful, strong man crumble before my eyes when mama died. I love the both of you so very much, mom and daddy. 

 Your story doobdoo was so very beautiful as each lovely poster is that told a memory of love, 

@dooBdoo 

@ECBG 

@catwhisperer 

@Zaimee 

@jazzed 

~~~~~~~~~and for everyone that has a loss and so many memories.

---

And for @PamfromCT . I posted this late last night and darn I was half asleep. 

[Shanus]

Thank you so much for sharing this @ECBG . I’m in month 5 of grieving for my Mother and the waves are coming every day. 

[ECBG]

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@Shanus wrote:

Thank you so much for sharing this @ECBG . I’m in month 5 of grieving for my Mother and the waves are coming every day. 

---

@Shanus I'm SO sorry.  You were just so very blessed to have your mother.  I was never blessed that way.

[Shanus]

---

@IamMrsG wrote:

I read until I couldn't see the screen through my tears anymore.  At one point I had to close my eyes, to blot it all out.

I have tried twice now to begin a thread about Learning to Live Alone.  It's been a year for me now, after 47 years together.  I began packing his clothes this weekend.  

As the very wise and compassionate MSO wrote so beautifully, it's been one wave after the one.  Sometimes I think it would be easier to just not get back up.  But then, that is not what he'd expect from me.

Thank you, @ECBG  for taking the bother to share this.  I'm sure I'll read it again.  And again.  "Apply as needed."  

---

@IamMrsG    I know it’s still OK to say “I’m sorry for the loss of your husband” even though it’s been a year. I’m mourning my brother, father and mother as if they passed away yesterday. The wounds remain. 

[Shanus]

@ECBG   You’ve obviously touched many hearts, as well as your own, with this thread. 💕

[Shanus]

@NAES1   I’m so sorry for the losses you’ve endured. I hoping the pleasant memories of the times you shared with them will keep them in your heart and mind forever. 

Shanus 💕