Among Friends

[VanSleepy]

Thank you @catwhisperer .  It was your first post that really got me.  I could have written it word for word.  I'm sorry for your loss also.  Even though none of us know each other, it's comforting to know there are others who "get it".

[Catiele]

@violann  Thank you for your kind words. You are one of the special ones. Try to always read your posts. 

[dooBdoo]

@ECBG,  @Boomernichols,  @DianeJ2,  @godi,  @IamMrsG,  @Lake4,  @Still Raining,  @chiclets,  @1Snickers,  @Anonymous032819,  @proudlyfromNJ,  @brmmom,  @violann,  @jazzed,  @Zaimee,  @catwhisperer,  @NAES1,  @Shanus, @ID2, @Catiele, @RetRN, @VanSleepy 

               I tried to add everyone, my apologies if I missed anyone and please know I'm writing to you all.   I want to thank you for your openness, courage, your spirit of benevolence and true community, and your willingness to share your tender vulnerability or to comfort others as we try to sort through the complexity of grief.    Your beloved's story is important, your story is important.   We are changed forever.  We also are not alone even though sometimes it feels that we are.

               The author Anne Lamott wrote:  "I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”   I hope the gentle, warm, protective cloak of grace will embrace you and will keep you safe as you move forward.❤️ 

[catwhisperer]

@dooBdoo .....

[catwhisperer]

On a positive note, I am seeing a therapist and signed up today to start attending a grief support group. Trying to move forward. 

[Zaimee]

This is an excellent decision. It is not that “ misery likes company” (said to me!). You will see and hear others experiencing  what you are feeling. You will hear others who have gone through it. You will take away what you need from the group.One day at a time. This is not a cold that you “get over”. 

And, find a therapist that hears you. Went to one that thought we should go on vacation to get over the loss of our son! It is incredible the ignorance about grief.

[catwhisperer]

@VanSleepy ...I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and have been thinking about you every day since we last posted. (((Hugs))).

[catwhisperer]

The issue I am running into is the friends/family who say, "How can I help you, let me know if you need anything". Okay, so I tell them I need help with something, they say they will help me, then do not show up as promised. No phone call, no nothing. WTH????? This is exactly why I do not trust people and cannot depend on anyone but  myself.

[dooBdoo]

            ❤️@catwhisperer,  hopes and prayers that the group will be of service.   I'm sorry you're still encountering careless people...  sometimes it's important to have a gentle and meaningful conversation with certain friends and family and important to do this as soon as there's miscommunication (don't let too much time pass after the fact) so everyone can see what happened and use it to improve, to avoid hurt feelings in the future.   I subscribe the the philosophy that most people do the best we can with the tools and knowledge we have at the time, and that when we "know better" we will "do better."   (paraphrasing Maya Angelou)   You could talk with the grief support group about this, and get their ideas.   (((hugs)))❤️

[VanSleepy]

Hi @catwhisperer  it's so nice of you to let me know you've been thinking of me.  Thank you.

I'm sorry to see that some of your friends and family are letting you down when you need them most.