Husband texting other women - Page 9

sarahpanda · ‎03-11-2010

I've got an idea ! If he says the texting is an innocent situation, tell him that you'd like to be her friend - and tell him you'd like to text her also - ON HIS PHONE - just to be ''friends'', ask how she's doing, etc.....That might throw some 'ice' on the texting for her. If it's so innocent, then your hubby shouldn't mind at all ! But the fact of the matter is, really, if your hubby is determined to have a ''friendship'' with the other woman, he'll find a way, be it texting, meeting at a restaurant, etc...Where there's a will, there's a way.

violann · ‎03-10-2010

Rough count, my husband had approx. 378 “work wives” over the 40+ years he worked in his typically female profession.

Nearly all of his WW were friends/acquaintances of mine.

If I couldn’t trust him because he found someone HE THOUGHT better suited to his interests than I, or vice versa, I would have offered him a dignified “out”, and would have expected the same.

Far worse, in my perception, is the coy “game playing” in an imaginary courtship between someone of Grandpa age and someone who feels entitled to engage in pointless cuteness.

Bother ME?? HARDLY. If there is “conduct unbecoming” taking place, I’d be embarrassed for a man that I’d respected and who couldn’t keep HIMSELF focused on what we TOGETHER had considered important enough to take vows for.

“Stopping it” by my own personal observation, doesn’t always mean solving or ending it.

I’d ask hard questions, expect honesty and respect in his answers, look quickly for some worthwhile marriage therapy, then move forward together or separately in whatever way WE could work out that served BOTH of us best, at least as much as possible.

Too old for “Meet me at your locker after school, but don’t let Sally know.....”

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

Only you can decide if you trust him or don't trust him. Only you can decide what happens next, if anything.

The one thing I'd recommend is going through your phone records. Do you have access to see what numbers were texted? Or call your phone company to get a list, even for the last month.

In my situation, my H of 15 years cheated with a coworker and I kicked him to the curb.

Imaoldhippie · ‎06-10-2015

Where there is smoke there is fire. Either he stops completely by deleting her phone number or he is out on his own. Never trust him.

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE! (unknown)

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

It would bother me --- yes. I don't think this is appropriate or necessary. I doubt he would like it if you did this. If he didn't care if you did this, then I think that indicates a problem also. I think it's disrespectful. I wouldn't do it and I know my DH wouldn't either.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

@jubilant wrote:
The most secure marriages I know both partners trust each other and both partners care what the other is feeling. They recognize that marriage is a sacred thing and treat it as such.

My SO and I (we've been together 33 years) had lives before we met and many friends of the opposite sex. To have to just drop those friendships is ridiculous. It is possible to have friends of the opposite sex and even flirtatious joking(which is all in fun). No affairs and real trust. I don't need to know who they all are. If the other is feeling controlled and not happy in any relationship then there are issues and that is when an affair can happen! And except for those who can never be faithful no matter what, the self appointed judge and jailer has started the downhill spiral of the relationship over some harmless joking and friendly fun and the relationship can never be the same again due to the jealously!! The love will no longer be strong and often is gone and both are unhappy. I know many men who have walked because even though they still love their wives they just cannot live like that! It seems most of those here want to dig their claws into their man and set rules and punishment (often for no reason except their spouse has friends of the opposite sex! Even with counseling - well the spouse will engage in what I call the "yes dear" syndrome where they will say whatever their partner wants to hear to keep the peace so as not to disrupt their life since they don't want to be sent packing! Nothing sacred about that - just the need not to do anything to set her off but will lie and will then have to keep friendships a secret! Being controlling might result in him staying but this often starts the cunning and lies and yes affairs all because of jealously and the need to control his every move!! If you trust and treat your spouse right and realize that you are not his whole life and he did and still does have a life outside of your relationship there is no need for all the clinging that probably will change or end the relationship! I would not want a relationship full of lies and punishments just to have everyone know he or she is my property! You not only ruin his life but your own is ruled by this obsession! Jealousy is not becoming to anyone! If you feel you cannot trust him (whether he's done anything wrong or not)- leave and avoid all the nasty unpleasentries that are sure to follow! Actually if you feel your spouse cannot associate with anyone of the opposite sex - well a relationship is not for you unless you find a man who feels the same!

Witchy Woman · ‎03-15-2010

@BoGo7

I have not read ANY of the other posts besides yours.

However, I will tell you that my stomach turned and my heart started beating fast when I saw it.

Without going into details, no matter WHAT anybody tells you, THIS is not a good sign. His explantions/excuses ring hollow. I have first hand, long term experience with this sort of thing.

Now that he knows you've seen it, there may be attempts to hide any future mails. Perhaps getting another email address.

Even if you've never had any reason to mistrust him, what he is doing is dangerous. Don't be afraid to check further. Don't be deterred by believing it's YOUR problem. IT IS NOT!

Read up on "emotional affairs."

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@Ifeelwicked wrote:
@Still Raining wrote:
If the texts were troubling to me there would be no way I would ask for a vote on a forum. I know my standards.
I’d be too busy trying to make bail.🤭

@Ifeelwicked

I'd be hot on the phone to the TV show 'Cheaters'.

Depending on what they find, then I'd probably be making bail.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.