Husband texting other women - Page 5

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

I am not the jealous type, but my husband is the kind of guy that attracts women. When we were young we would be out and about and if he wasn't holding my hand, strange women would come up to him and start flirting with him. The shop girls were the worst, especially at the makeup counter. One time I actually had to tell a waitress to back the he-- off or I was going to call the manager. My husband was always in a professional job where he worked with women and could have cheated if he wanted, maybe he did. I guess I'll know for sure if strange women show up at his funeral.LOL I guess my point is, if they are the cheating kind, anything you say or do will not stop it.

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

@BoGo7-

A platonic friendship is one thing while constant texting with another former co-worker is another.

I would be very hurt and wonder why he couldn't text ME! with "flirtatious" texts or to talk about his work.

I'd also think that other woman has more feelings for him than just a friend.

So I would definitely start talking to him about all of this, your feelings and why he feels the need to do this etc.

I could see how this could easily happen between former co-workers talking about their work but still I would be hurt and surprised.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

QueenDanceALot · ‎04-18-2013

@software wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
How does a woman "put a stop to it"?

Take his phone away? Give him a curfew? Take away his computer privileges?

Some responses sound like mommies dealing with their kids.

First of all I would have blocked that number on his phone
Easy peasy

Hope he gets the message.

He might read the message as, "oops, gotta get a secret phone"

That's easy peasy, too.

SuhseK · ‎08-19-2018

@sunshine45 wrote:
@chrystaltree wrote:
@sunshine45 wrote:
@Katcat1 wrote:
@BoGo7 I probably would not like it. How would DH feel if you started texting an old flame? I believe it can cause problems in your marriage. He needs to text you and keep the flames burning so they say. Once trust is broken so is the marriage.

there can easily be a big difference between an "old coworker" and an "old flame."

The can also be both at the same time. It's tough out there for older women looking for a man and some of them just go after what they want. They know how to play on a man's ego.

@chrystaltree

yes they can be both at the same time also.

did she suspect anything when he was working with her?
there are A LOT questions, but we really dont know anything about her or her husband or about the coworker. at this point we can only make assumptions, innuendo, and suggestions. as i suggested above, maybe she should begin by seeing just how much they are on the phone together by looking at phone records.

i am a firm believer that men and women can be friends......strictly friends.
of course, not everyone believes that.

-----------------------------------------------------

I also firmly believe that men and women can be "Just friends", a platonic relationship.

It requires that neither of them have any, romantic/sexual attraction, to the other. And you have to be honest about that, trying to sublimate those feelings, doesnt work.

If I had a male friend, and his wife/girlfriend, for whatever reason, was not OK with that, I'd respect their relationship.

I have a male friend, since our high school days (I turn 47 in March). Wife #1 was very insecure about our friendship, wife #2 is totally cool with it. From day one, we clicked, but never, in any kind of romantic way. It's a treasured friendship, and that's all it's ever been.

My SO likes my friend and totally trusts us both. He admits, howver, he's never had that kind of friendship, with a

woman.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

@Pook I agree with you. I have too much self respect to spy on, monitor my husband. I don't want a man I need to keep on a short leash. I would never accept my husband spying on me or deciding with whom I can be friends and I would not disrespect him by spying and choosing his friends.

seaBreeze · ‎02-04-2014

@occasionalrain

I understand your thought on this subject -- but there's a big difference with telling another woman she looks nice in a dress vs. telling her that he wishes he was with her instead of his wife (or other derogatory comments). There is such a thing as self-respect. Any man who has to text other women with salacious verbiage to validate his masculinity needs to be "monitored."

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

@suziebee1 wrote:
I trusted my husband when he was texting another woman. We have been divorced 10 years. He left me for her, but they didn't work out. Don't let your marriage crumble like I did - don't trust him. Stop it. I wish I had done that.

If you would have stopped it there's a really good chance the marriage was doomed anyway!

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

@seaBreeze wrote:
@occasionalrain

I understand your thought on this subject -- but there's a big difference with telling another woman she looks nice in a dress vs. telling her that he wishes he was with her instead of his wife (or other derogatory comments). There is such a thing as self-respect. Any man who has to text other women with salacious verbiage to validate his masculinity needs to be "monitored."

We don't even know what was in those texts. Where did you get he wished he was with her instead of his wife? I think that is a far cry from what the OP was describing!!

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

@jubilant wrote:
I have seen way too many people hurt and marriages broken up that started with an "innocent" friendship with a friend, church member, co-worker.....you name it. All people have highs and lows in their marriage. Some days we love our spouses more than other days and visa versa. Given the right set of circumstances it could happen to anyone. You may say, that would never happen to me. Do you know how many times I have heard that???? Let's be honest people can be attracted to more than one person in this life. Just sayin.

And by limiting who they can and can't be friends with will certainly end the marriage anyway or he will learn to be really secretive and cunning!! Who wants a relationship like that??

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@Pook wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
I have seen way too many people hurt and marriages broken up that started with an "innocent" friendship with a friend, church member, co-worker.....you name it. All people have highs and lows in their marriage. Some days we love our spouses more than other days and visa versa. Given the right set of circumstances it could happen to anyone. You may say, that would never happen to me. Do you know how many times I have heard that???? Let's be honest people can be attracted to more than one person in this life. Just sayin.
And by limiting who they can and can't be friends with will certainly end the marriage anyway or he will learn to be really secretive and cunning!! Who wants a relationship like that??

********* Exactly...who does want a relationship like that?! It's not a matter of limiting who can and can't be friends with him. That's totally up to him. There can, however be consequences for his behavior and I would make sure there were!! He would be issued an ultimatum. Op said his behavior was too personal and it appears he is lying. I'd have enough self respect to do something about it.

Every married person deserves a faithful spouse. I would rather have my husband tell me up front he wanted out than go sneaking behind my back. These days it's not safe to be with a person who is being intimate with other people.

I would offer to go to counseling to see if the marriage could be saved. If he wouldn't go or wouldn't give up this other woman. I would leave. No, on second thought.....he would leave!!!!!!!!!!