Re: Husband texting other women

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
How does a woman "put a stop to it"?

Take his phone away? Give him a curfew? Take away his computer privileges?

Some responses sound like mommies dealing with their kids.

I agree completely!

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
@software wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
How does a woman "put a stop to it"?

Take his phone away? Give him a curfew? Take away his computer privileges?

Some responses sound like mommies dealing with their kids.

First of all I would have blocked that number on his phone
Easy peasy

Hope he gets the message.

He might read the message as, "oops, gotta get a secret phone"

That's easy peasy, too.

I thought the same thing.

Blocking the number just blocks the number. It doesn't stop a friendship. Or a more-than-friendship!

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Imaoldhippie wrote:
Where there is smoke there is fire. Either he stops completely by deleting her phone number or he is out on his own. Never trust him.

Deleting her phone number in no way guarantees that this friendship or romance or whatever it is will come to a complete stop. Even if he stops texting her, that doesn't mean he's not communicating with her in other ways and/or seeing her.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@jubilant wrote:
@Pook

You totally misunderstand me. I see nothing wrong with friendships between men and women as long as it's above board. Flirting for married people is wrong on so many levels in my book.

We are obviously not going to agree on this, Pook. The op was truely upset over this. I would have been, too. What more can I say. I think it best for me to shut my mouth up now and wish the op well whatever she decides. I wish you well, too.

I think "flirting" has different meanings to different people. And someone prone to be jealous, insecure, or controlling might be more inclined to have a narrow view of what's appropriate conversation between men and women.

(I'm not saying the OP is any of those things. And we don't know what was actually said, but I think the odds are good that some of us would find it flirtatious and others wouldn't.)

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

I would tell him to knock it off. If it is just “kidding around” then he should have no problem stopping the texting. The big red flag is that the texts were secret...no married man needs to be secretly texting a female coworker...period.

Were they texting...or sexting?

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@lovesrecess wrote:
I would tell him to knock it off. If it is just kidding around then he should have no problem stopping the texting.

If it's just kidding around, then it's just kidding around. Why should he stop texting? Maybe tone it down if his wife doesn't like it, but if it's truly innocent, why should he stop texting a clearly platonic friend?

Love4cats · ‎03-09-2010

I don't think it is a matter of trusting or not trusting. I think it is playing with fire. Something what start's out as innocent can turn into something different, when emotion's are involved. I would NOT be happy if my husband were texting another woman and I would expect him to have respect for me, as his wife and NOT to do it. BTW, we have been married for 44 year's and he has never given me a reason to question his honesty, love or commitment, I just think that it is very foolish to put yourself in a situation that could cause heartache.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Love4cats wrote:
I don't think it is a matter of trusting or not trusting. I think it is playing with fire. Something what start's out as innocent can turn into something different, when emotion's are involved. I would NOT be happy if my husband were texting another woman and I would expect him to have respect for me, as his wife and NOT to do it. BTW, we have been married for 44 year's and he has never given me a reason to question his honesty, love or commitment, I just think that it is very foolish to put yourself in a situation that could cause heartache.

If something innocent turns into something different, that means there's a problem in the marriage. The issue is not texting, or even having phone conversations or lunch or anything else with someone of the opposite sex. Stopping a man from texting doesn't fix anything if something isn't right to begin with.

Men can have female friends, and females can have male friends without it turning into anything more. I would never criticize my husband for texting someone just because she was female. (Men have affairs with other men too, btw)