Among Friends

[Julie928]

Why do people keep making reference to my reinventing myself for him?  I never said that.  Yes, I want to be as attractive as I can be for my husband but I learned a long time ago to do things for yourself ~ never place your importance in another person's hands.

I decided to improve myself because I was sick of not fitting into my clothes.  I have a beautiful wardrobe and wanted to start wearing those items again.  

I noticed a gray hair or two and decided to get my hair colored ~ not for him, for me.  

I know I asked for opinions but I'm beginning to regret starting this thread.  He went, it's over, I'm moving on.  And yes, tomorrow I'll be back on the treadmill as usual ~ whether he loves me, or loves me not.  

I'm not trying to be snarky, but not reaching out for opinions on a public forum might be a good thing for me to add to my list of reinventions.  Have a good evening, all.

[speedy girl]

I think as long as you have a good and happy marriage, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Maybe he just wanted to connect with his old high school buddies and talk old times, that he thought might not interest you. Maybe he thought you would be bored and he just wanted to spend time with old friends. As long as you both trust each other, then I would let it go and just carry on. I'm sure he meant no harm. 

[september]

My husband went to three high school reunions without me, and I was fine with that.  In our case, he had to travel to another state.  Still..it's all good.  I only had ever met one of his classmates and it would have been uninteresting for me and an onus on him to spend time with me,vs. those he wanted to reconnect with. 

[stevieb]

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@Julie928 wrote:

Why do people keep making reference to my reinventing myself for him?  I never said that.  Yes, I want to be as attractive as I can be for my husband but I learned a long time ago to do things for yourself ~ never place your importance in another person's hands.

I decided to improve myself because I was sick of not fitting into my clothes.  I have a beautiful wardrobe and wanted to start wearing those items again.  

I noticed a gray hair or two and decided to get my hair colored ~ not for him, for me.  

I know I asked for opinions but I'm beginning to regret starting this thread.  He went, it's over, I'm moving on.  And yes, tomorrow I'll be back on the treadmill as usual ~ whether he loves me, or loves me not.  

I'm not trying to be snarky, but not reaching out for opinions on a public forum might be a good thing for me to add to my list of reinventions.  Have a good evening, all.

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It usually isn't a good idea if what one is really seeking is agreement and unconditional support. Asking for opinions means one needs to expect a variety of them... Some we like to hear but others, well, not so much...

[stevieb]

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@ECBG wrote:

I didn't read all of the responces but I am very sorry.

Your husband was inexcusably rude and self centered in this incident.

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Oh, I don't know. It sounds as though he was perhaps a bit insensitive in his handling of the situation, but it also sounds like it's possible there might be enough 'self-centered' to go around.

[Julie928]

@stevieb ~ Well, that was unnecessary and unkind.  

Oh, you forgot stupid in addition to self-centered.  I know better but I posted anyway.  Lesson learned.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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@arizona babe wrote:

be glad you didn't go as reunions are all boring, not many people stay that close to high school friends- but your whole story to me raises a big red flag that your relationship might be in trouble and he used the reunion as an excuse for something else- remember he is a man and they are basically stupid, just pay attention to your relationship and protect yourself, it will all be known eventually if there is an issue- but seriously i doubt you missed anything

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WHAT????

OMG!!

For once I'm speechless!

[Sooner]

@Annabellethecat66  Yeah, I'd just have gone too!  Now I know why you remind me of me sometimes.

I don't even know what to say to the OP.  Nothing good about the situation leaps to mind.  I am sorry it happened and hope you can get things ironed out and feel ok about it. 

[chrystaltree]

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@Julie928 wrote:

Why do people keep making reference to my reinventing myself for him?  I never said that.  Yes, I want to be as attractive as I can be for my husband but I learned a long time ago to do things for yourself ~ never place your importance in another person's hands.

I decided to improve myself because I was sick of not fitting into my clothes.  I have a beautiful wardrobe and wanted to start wearing those items again.  

I noticed a gray hair or two and decided to get my hair colored ~ not for him, for me.  

I know I asked for opinions but I'm beginning to regret starting this thread.  He went, it's over, I'm moving on.  And yes, tomorrow I'll be back on the treadmill as usual ~ whether he loves me, or loves me not.  

I'm not trying to be snarky, but not reaching out for opinions on a public forum might be a good thing for me to add to my list of reinventions.  Have a good evening, all.

Sorry that you didn't get the responses and reactions you thought you were going to get.  But, like your husband.....we couldn't read your mind.

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[stevieb]

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@Julie928 wrote:

@stevieb ~ Well, that was unnecessary and unkind.  

Oh, you forgot stupid in addition to self-centered.  I know better but I posted anyway.  Lesson learned.

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@Julie928 I see you changed your post. Initially, I believe you asked me to explain my thinking. While I was cogitating about how best to express myself, the above showed up. It reinforces my choice, which was to simply indicate we appear to have very different perspectives and that likely nothing good would come of me trying to explain my point of view... For the record, I never assessed that 'stupid' should apply and my comments were not intended as 'unkind'... Wishing you well in getting past this bump in the road...