@Julie928 Well maybe I'm in the minority here but first of all you definitely aren't over-reacting (in my opinion).
I'd have said I wanted to go and I'd have gone. I'd have made arrangements for the dog(s), gotten nice clothes, been ready and said, "OK, let's go".
The fact that you WANTED to go should have been good enough for him. I can totally understand that you wanted to meet the people who knew him way back when.
That was usually an important part of a person's life. It would have been fun to hear the stories and meet the people. Something the two of you could have shared (listening to him further talk about Jim or Katie or Susie in the next few days when you guys are in the car or at the kitchen table). Who doesn't love talking about themselves?
I'm sorry, but in my opinion, he's a jerk for not wanting you to go.
You need to think more highly of yourself. There's a saying, "How can other's like you unless you like yourself". From the minute we meet someone we are technically 'selling' ourselves.
It's not a matter of trust. It's a matter of people being put in 'situations'. I don't know if any of you have ever read just a tiny bit of some of the things that have gone on in my family, but if I had to round them up many of them happen because people were put in 'situations'. It didn't mean they were stupid or mean or looking to do the cheating or wrong thing and they wouldn't have in any other circumstances, but ..... again...situations.
I'm not saying any of this would or did happen. I'm saying it only took one person who 'remembered back 'when''....you hear and see it all of the time. Especially now that people are but one click away on the computer.
Setting all of that aside. It would have been nice if you'd have been there meeting HIS friends. You might have been surprised at how much in common you'd have with some of them. It would have been fun.
You are much nicer than me honey because I would not be a happy camper. I'd have gone with him anyway.
So, say, while I'm thinking of it. What gives him the power over you that you are working on yourself for his benefit and now that you're bummed out; you might not care anymore? What's that about?
Are you going to give this jerk that much power? Why would you do that? Why go backward? It sounds like things were a little shaky before this. Whether it was or not, you just keep going.
The ultimate 'I'll show you' would be for you to keep improving whatever it is you are working on and the sky is the limit.
Don't let the dogs or anyone dictate what, when or where you are going to go or even do. They're his dogs too.
It's kinda like the children. You know children grow up and move away and have their own lives.
One day you might be like many of us (widows). I hope that's not the case but if you are a widow or divorced, you need to realize how special you YOU... get it.... are?
There's only one you.....no one is going to take care of you like you will.
If you lived near me, I'd be telling you all of this except I'd walk over and put my chunky arms around you and give you a big hug. I'd tell you to buck up and keep going.
Do not let anyone have power over you lady. You did not over react. Your feelings were hurt. Just keep going.
Keep your eyes and ears open because I guarantee you it sounds like you might need to be.
There are others here who know what I'm saying. That's the sign of a jerk as far as I'm concerned.
Heat? Unkind? Who cares? OK people start busting on me because I'll not change my mind. This dear person should have been able to go to this silly thing if she wanted to. She's much better than me because if it was me he'd still be giving him an earful and he'd wish to GOD he'd have taken me.
See, people and you guys thought I was so nice. Not when it comes to people's feelings like this. My antenna says this is a person who's very sensitive and works to please other's. She probably doesn't do much for herself and is just now discovering she is a pretty darn good person.
If you want to bust on someone bust on me. She doesn't need or deserve it.
To the OP. Now you get out there and do whatever you were doing and just keep going. If you see something that's not quite right...don't ask...look into it.
Why was he so adamant about you not going to this thing? I'm a suspicious person.
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