Among Friends

[Julie928]

@Sweetbay magnolia ~ Yes, time is precious.  No doubt about that.  And it seems to fly by so quickly.  Where did the past 10 years go?

[Kay Vee]

I cherish every moment I get to spend alone at home

[gmkb]

I don't think you would have had to write looking for our opinions if this whole incident had ben handled differently..  1.  When you said you wanted to go, he of course, should have said okay.  But also you could have said more firmly that you planned to go and would make arrangements for the dogs.

2.  A big opportunity was missed when you remained on the phone when he got home.  I would have immediately hung up and go ask him about the evening in a pleasant way.  

You would now have more peace of mind and tensions resolved.

My guess is there are more underlying issues in this marriage that we do not know about and we do not need to know.  I wish you and husband the best.

[Sweetbay magnolia]

@Julie928, when I became 48 I became interested in things that I had not been interested in since I got married - it was an interesting time.  No harm, no foul was committed, and I'm convinced it was a last gasp before menopause.  In many ways it enhanced my marriage.  It was as if I finally became all the things I wish I could have been, 20 years before that.  DH is 6 years older.  I think I took him by surprise.

Earlier comments you made, about your age and renewed sense of (it sounds like) discovery, reminded me.

Good luck.

[chiclets]

Dig deep. Only you can decide whether you are overreacting. You have to decide if you can really accept the circumstance or not. Either way there probably will be emotional consequence. It is something that will always be remembered.

[DiAnne]

I can't imagine anything much more boring than going to someone elses high school reunion.  I would consider myself blessed if my husband went alone.  I have not even gone to my own high school reunions.  

[pigletsmom]

I think you need to go and ask your husband why he reacted the way he did when you said you wanted to go. When he said it you should have just asked why. If you're close enough that you could marry someone than you should be able to talk about this. No point in making yourself crazy wondering.

I may have missed it but is this the first reunion since you've been married? If not how were others handled?

Honestly I think a lot of guys just want to go and catch up with each other. Likely not a big deal. Contrary to popular opinion I don't think men really think about showing off their women in these situations unless they were really nerdy in school and have something to prove. Showing off the spouse seems like more of a woman thing.

Also 12:30 seems totally reasonable to me. Clearly he knew you were not happy when he got home.

[Montana]

Many of you wouldn’t want to go, but she did. And she said so. I think that is why the OP is upset. In her shoes, I would be upset too.

At this point, I feel a talk is in order. I would want to know what is going on.

[bathina]

I thought the same thing @Calcgirl thought. Do you sleep in seperate bedrooms? If so, why (if you feel comfortable divulging)? You've only been married 10 years- seems like too short a period of time to discontinue sleeping in the same bed. Just my opinion.

I have a feeling you won't have closure or be able to let this go until you ask him about the reunion. I would come out and talk to him about how you felt being left out. Keep the conversation about how YOU FELT. Dont accuse him of not wanting you to go.I don't think 12:30 is unreasonable either, so I wouldn't bring up the time he got home.

I'm not saying this is what is happening in your relationship, but a close friend's husband left her for someone (older) who he hooked up with at a class reunion. Quickly after he reconnected with this high school "friend" the class reunions were scheduled every year and both he and the "friend" joined the committee which just happened to meet several times a year. The other woman was a 4 hour flight away, so my friend's ex carried on an e-mail romance with this woman which is how my friend found out. By that time, the two were "in love" and broke up both their marriages to move in together. The relationship lasted less than a year. By that time, my friend had moved on and never looked back.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. But I would recommend talking about it and perhaps making an appointment with a counselor- just for you, for now.

[lovesrecess]

I think it was inconsiderate for him not to take you with him....but what concerns me is that you said you had been working hard on yourself physically and emotionally...that's fine...but I hope you weren't doing that because you wanted to look and feel good enough for his classmates. Do you even know these people? I would not care one bit what they thought about me....because you are the one your husband chose, not them. Your husband was wrong not to take youwith him and he owes you a huge apology. Please don't be hard on yourself....it sounds like you have done nothing wrong...but no one wants to feel disrespected and that is how he treated you, with disrespect. Shame on him. I would ask him one time, and one time only, how the reunion was....then drop it.