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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,554
Registered: ‎11-26-2019

Re: How you handle a break up?

@elated thank you for reply.all advice on this subject makes so much sense.im moving forward!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,554
Registered: ‎11-26-2019

Re: How you handle a break up?

@AngelPuppy1 I am taking everyone's advice here on the boards.i will not contact him and even if he does I probably won't respond .I should have realized a long time ago that this was going nowhere.

 

I appreciate everyone's advice.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,336
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: How you handle a break up?

@Luvsmyfam 

 

I feel for you!  You have invested time in this relationship and you obviously care for him.  It's not easy and a person just doesn't stop having feelings for someone in the blink of an eye.  Whatever decision you make, I wish you the best.  You deserve to have someone in your life who respects you, meets all your needs and makes you happy!  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,406
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How you handle a break up?

@Luvsmyfam  I went  nearly 20 years with an off again on again relationship. I dated others and am sure he did also but never spoke about it. He was over involved with his kids who's son  even acted up to prevent him from staying, so he'd drive right  back home 2 brs. away.  

 

 He would pop in and out. No call, No show 3 times did it. Told him no excuse to not contact me to cancel.  Rude. He had the nerve to drop by last May hinting about parking his camper in my yard.  I live in a summer recreation area and his wealthy family sold their lake home.

 

Asked me to dinner. I simply said  "No thank you." I texted him twice casually and decided to break all contact as ANY contact at all seemed to think I was interested and an invitation. Too old for games and friends with benefits.  I can get things fixed eventually on my own as  he did that for me also as so handy. Easy to talk to and we both enjoyed dogs. I realized I was used and did not need the off/ on again. 

 

I know from your concerns about a co-worker you are a compassionate caring person.  I am sorry to hear you feel rejected. It hurts.  It has taken me years to realize I have to come first. I found cutting contact ENTIRELY was the only way to end the back and forth. Too painful and not worth it. Either  he is interested or not ....life is too short to be strung along. I learned the hard way. Good Luck....

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,354
Registered: ‎11-24-2011

Re: How you handle a break up?

Sorry but I'm not buying the sexual texts part. I think that's to make it sound to all here like she had good reason for thinking he wanted more. Lessen the embarrassment of making a move on him.

 

If you think I deserve a verbal bashing for my opinion, have at it. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,565
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: How you handle a break up?

[ Edited ]

Some posters are blaming the man; I don't understand that thinking. Neither is to blame for anything. It sounds like a matter of two people wanting different things, that's all. The decision has to be made to accept things the way they are, or move on. Neither way is wrong; it's what you feel is best for you. 

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

Mark Twain
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,006
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: How you handle a break up?

@Luvsmyfam   Someone told me years and years ago ''You can't move forward until you stop looking back''....wise advise.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,038
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: How you handle a break up?

I


@GenXmuse wrote:

@chrystaltree wrote:

He's been a platonic friend to you, an older woman, for all these years.  He never gave you any reason that he had romantic feelings for you.  You want more than friendship from him now and it's unfortunate that you awkwardly blundered your way in asking him for it. I don't believe he sent you mixed messages.  Finding a romantic partner is hard for older women and you heard what you wanted to hear.   If he's pretending that nothing happened, if it seems like he wants be your friend and you want that too, you could just go back to normal and never mention what transpired.   But if you feel that you killed the friendship and it cannot be repaired, send him a text and be honest.  Tell him you have unreciprocated feelings for him so it's best that you don't see or speak to each other again.    

  


He sent her sexual texts, so she's not just having some pie in the sky dream you're insinuating. Your reply just sounds like you want to cut her down and snicker about it. 

 

We don't know what those texts said or the context but as a woman, I have seen women misinterpret things men say.  If a man wants a relationship with a woman, especially one they know; they go for it.  They don't play coy girly games.   There's snicker about here, it's unfortunate that op lost a friendship because of a misunderstanding.  

 


 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,932
Registered: ‎06-15-2014

Re: How you handle a break up?

@stevieb perfectly stated.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,755
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Re: How you handle a break up?

Please keep the channels open; he may change his mind.  Meanwhile, feel free to see other men,