How would you react? - Page 5

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Glad to hear that you found a new class and you are getting right back to the dancing you love. You are right, confronting the instructor would serve no purpose at all. Since this was in no way about money, asking for refund would serve no purpose at all either. "Stuff" happens, all we can do is shake it off and move on. Enjoy your class!

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

People fear confrontation.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

A class is to LEARN. Demand a full refund of what you already paid because the instructor doesn't know how to TEACH. This is one time when I would write a Yelp review of the dance studio.

Susan in California · ‎06-02-2014

@bonnielu

I like your attitude. I would have been hurt exactly as you were,

and I got a kick out of a little ice cream therapy (my style as well).

It is wonderful you and your husband didn't give up and are continuing at a new location.

You should be proud of yourselves for your desire to improve in your dancing skills.

And my general opinion is exactly as yours: tacky, inappropriate

100%.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

wrote:

I would pretend I never got the email, show up and speak to her -- but ONLY to ask for a refund for remaining lessons (and more if you can get it). I would not even want an apology from this type of person.

Unbelievable.

I disagree. First, she already replied to the email. But even if she hadn't pretending she didn't receive it would be a mistake. This is not a time to play games and be dishonest. If she is in fact entitled to a refund, it will only cloud the issue going forward.

All communication from now on should be in writing. It was appropriate to respond right away. Driving that distance and having a conversation would be a waste of time, and there would be no record of who said what.

If she's entitled to a refund, then for sure she could request one. In writing. But she should make sure first that she's an entitled to one.

I wouldn't bother with asking for an apology (or even think about that.) This is a business transaction.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

wrote:
You are all so wondderful to answer my post and give me encouragment. I am about on average 10 years older than the rest of the class. My hubby is the oldest. He is athletic. I am not. But together we really do try and we help others... it is our lifestyle and motto. I am still wondering what in the world this person was thinking. The couple had plenty of time to take us aside but she chose to write the email early in the morning, last Friday and then send it. And most of you are right... we did select another place and are going there tonight... also the same distance but in another direction. (What can I say we live rural).

We were paying per class so they owe us no money. And I guess I could storm in there or write all kinds of emails in return but the people I am dealing with would not be remotely interested or affected.

I will say this..and my grandmother used to say it. I cannot track it down. It might be biblical or from Frank Sinatra..... SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE. So I will eat one more ice cream and head on our in a few hours for a second chance. Thanks everyone.

If you paid per class and aren't out any money, then you're right to simply move on. Clearly this wasn't the right type of class for you. Some classes are simply instructional, fun, and all are welcome. Others expect some level of improvement and participants to be at the same/similar level. You might want to clarify what the expectations are at the new place you've chosen. Just so you can relax and have a good time!

Enjoy your ice cream and your dancing, and don't give that experience another thought. Onward and upward! (And now I'm craving ice cream, and I don't even like it!!) :-)

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

@bonnielu

What did your friend have to say about this?

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

There are always two ways to approach something like this.

You can stand up for yourself, say (or write to someone in authority) your 'piece' and make your point. After all, people get away with this kind of behavior because people let them, and don't call them out.

You also can walk away knowing that by not even responding further, you are the bigger person.

No one wants rejection, and when it appears to come out of nowhere, it really can sting. Especially if you think you actually fit in with the group and didn't see it coming.

My only advice would be to understand the next time you get into something like this, and to be well informed, about the situation. Is there a contract that states the rules, objectives etc. of the class? Ask a lot of questions about whether there is a certain level of proficiency required to be retained, and other such things.

I know you know that in the scheme of life, this isn't the worst thing you ever have or will experience, but it does both hurt and anger one to be treated like this, and I would say that the true problem wasn't your skills or behavior, it was theirs.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

I used to do a lot of ballroom dancing. If this is a professional studio, they should have levels of classes. If you were not progressing fast enough for this particular class, it would seem they could have offered you an opportunity to go back to a beginner class.

I agree it was badly handled.

I do see however, that if all the other students are progressing and the instructor has to take time to go over steps already learned repeatedly, the others could have felt they were not getting their money's worth and complained.

Maybe a better option for you would be private lessons. They are more expensive, but you would have the instructor's full attention and you would learn faster.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

Another suggestion. If you continue with group classes, look for those where the instructor makes everyone dance with everyone. That is - splits partners up and pairs better dancers with more inexperienced ones etc.

First, you learn to dance with anyone. Second, it is easier for a man to learn to lead a partner who already knows how to follow and vice versa.