How would you handle this? - Page 2

Ladylaughsalot · ‎06-01-2010

I realize that we all have problems, some much more serious than others, but when someone dwells only on the negative it is very unhealthy, both physically and mentally. I know a woman who has no physical disabilities, but she is the most negative woman I have ever known. She finds fault in everything. After knowing her, for over 25 years, I realized this is her personality, and she will never change. For my own sanity, I had to cut her completely out of my life. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in over five years. I can’t tell you how much my spirits have lifted since I let her go.

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

I would probably tell her very bluntly that if all you have to talk about is illness and surgeries, this will be a very short visit and take it from there.

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

@OhioAngel Honesty is how I would handle the situation....If she is a good friend, I would gently firmly share your concerns. If the same pattern continues, I would not continue the friendship but continue to think good thoughts for her.

OhioAngel · ‎12-11-2014

I do feel sorry for her in all she has to go through. I get anxious when I have to hear all about in detail health problems or about surgeries. Even if I hear about it on the tv I can get anxiety

It is not her personally, it is anyone that goes on and on that way. I dont ever watch medical shows or anything to do with surgery or health problems. I know reality is you can have them but I dont like the added anxiety if its unnecessary!.

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

@Ladylaughsalot WELL SAID!! I HAD a friend like this also. Key word- HAD. I have known this lady my entire life, she is always negative, never has anything good to say about anything. I recently had enough, flew off the handle & said some things I probably should not have, but decided to cut her out of my life also. I simply can't deal with the negativity. I'm having bit of rough time lately with several different issues & have decided to let anything go that doesn't make me happy. This lady was making me upset every time I had contact. You have to decide what's best for yourself, sooner or later. As much as it hurt to lose a friend, it was in my best interest.

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

How about taking her out to lunch, a local festival, etc. Give her something else to talk about.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

doxie1 · ‎03-09-2010

@OhioAngel

It is not healthy for anyone to be consumed with depressing issues. I feel for your friend because the issues are her life and what is in focus for her. I would be honest with her. I would maybe take her out to a restaurant or take a meal to her to enjoy without any talk of health issues. It would be strange for her at first but it may give her something positive to talk about. I told one of my friends that I was taking her on a mini vacation and took her a spread of finger food. I told her NO health talk. We had a nice picnic and found other things to talk about. I am not suggesting that you stay in a situation that is bad for you.

doxie

mimomof4 · ‎03-08-2018

As you said she doesn't go out often so the health issues unfortunately are the only thing going on in her life. Sending a card to let her know you are thinking of her would probably do wonders for her. That would then be something she would talk about with others. Maybe take her out for something so she has something else to focus on for a little while.

I can completely understand not wanting to hear about someone else's health issues over and over. It would be too much for me too.

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

My nosy, nosy neighbor is like this. She does have some significant health issues, but they only limit her because it is her choice to dwell on them. I finally told her "I understand you have health issues and it may be difficult for others to understand, but constantly living in 'oh dear, oh my' land doesn't help, nor does insisting on constantly speaking of those issues to the exclusion of other topics of conversation". Was it fairly blunt? Yes. It needed to be. I've tried subtle and it didn't work. She still watches (or tries to) my every move, but i'm rarely stuck talking to her.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

This topic is timely. I was having my nails done yesterday, and, the lady next to me talked non stop about her illnesses. Loudly I might add. she talked about this surgery, that surgery, her recuperation period, what meds she was taking etc etc. Oh vey. I think we all get to the point in our lives that we have our own issues and are continuously bombarded with other people issues either by chance (such as mine) or by design, or even via social media and the constant drone of the news. Hurricanes, tornadoes. We are inundated with this stuff. No wonder we have anxiety. I prefer to think it is empathy fatigue.