Among Friends

[CalminHeart]

I'm sorry.  I think this would be very difficult.  Have you sat down with your parent and told him/her how you feel?  Be sure to stay calm, no anger or badmouthing the new spouse.   Your parent could be in an awkward position, caught between a controlling spouse and love of you.  But talk to your parent and tell him/her how you feel.

I would be devastated if this happened to me.  I'm really sorry you have to go through this.

[jubilant]

@OhioAngel

I think you are doing the right thing. I don't think it's asking too much to call before you come.  People these days are busy, have appointments, and often are just not at home.  Add several children to the mix and life can get pretty hectic.

It could be they just need a little time to themselves.  Since it is still early in the relationship, I would hold off saying anything.  If your own parents had an "open policy"...I can understand that this situation would be new to you and even upsetting.  The fact is, it is new!  I would give it some time and go from there.  

[shaggygirl]

I haven't read every single reply so this might have already been asked and answered, if so my apologies.

This open door policy you'd like to be extended, have you extended that same open door policy to them? They are welcome to come to your home whenever they please, whatever day of the week and whatever time they please without any prior notice to you and you welcome them with open arms?

[Sooner]

@OhioAngel  I hate when people just drop by.  I may have planned a nap, I may be getting ready to go out, or maybe I'm just in the middle of something  I don't care who it is, call first.

The secret to a successful and happy life is change, compassion and compromise.  The ability to adjust to change and make the best of it without bitterness and grudges will when possible make life good and happy for YOU!  

Bless your heart.  Cheer up and go see your parent often--but call ahead and ask when you talk to or see them "What would be a good time to come back?"  Do they come to see you?  Do you all go out to eat or just do something you enjoy?  Try that too!  Maybe make time to spend focusing on the new person in the picture and make them feel like you think they are special as well.

[Allegheny]

OP thanks for providing more info.

Perhaps the issue which is bothering you may be that this was your family home, the home you spent so much time in.  Memories of coming and going freely.   I lived near my parents so dropping by anytime just felt natural to us both.  If my Dad had remarried after my Mom's death, and the open door policy had changed, I admit it would be a bitter pill for me to accept.  But I probably would get accustomed to it.

[Bascia]

How old are you?

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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Maybe you should stop trolling.

Edited to remove prev deleted post.

[Elri]

@OhioAngel

OK, in that case.  Here is what I would do!!

I would go over every so often and just drop off a box of special treats:  donuts,  bagels, crooissants on their porch.  Leave a nice card or note.  Sign it "I love you." 

I would see what becomes of that!

[OhioAngel]

Some people are just plain RUDE here.

BUT thank you to the ones that are nice and helpful and caring.

I  have a life thank you very much!! I am just upset and thought I would discuss this here. And what age I am is of no importance.

I do appreciate all the feedback that was helpful!!  The thoughts and suggestions and advice are very good.

I need to get used to life with this new normal.

And if I have to get a day and time then that is what I have to do. I wont ever cause trouble or conflict in my family for sure.

Thanks everyone!