Among Friends

[OhioAngel]

How would you feel if one of your parents remarried and now you have to schedule an appointment to go to see your parent? A day and a time!!

This is how it is now for me. It upsets me more than I can say. I wonder if it is normal among those that remarried. 

It makes me feel unwanted, sad, unnecessary and like such an outsider.

Am I making too much of it?

[Imaoldhippie]

Who is the one that said you need to make an appointment?

[fthunt]

Define 'appointment'    Day of the week - time of day?

[OhioAngel]

Yes a day and a time when it is ok to come see them

[Mominohio]

Are you making too much of it? 

Probably not.

But remember when we grow up and make our own lives, get married, have families etc. we tend to, for some time, have less time for our parents, and it breaks their hearts a bit when that happens too. 

You don't say if your parent was divorced or widowed, or how long they might have been alone, or if it is your mother or father. And I'm sure you are or want to be happy for them. 

But just like when we venture out, your parent now has a new and exciting life hopefully filled with love and meaning in a way they haven't had for a while perhaps. 

They only way I would be concerned or act on this, is if you truly feel and know that your parent is being controlled by this new spouse, and it isn't safe, or healthy or right. 

Beyond that we have to lick our wounds, make our appointments and move on with our lives. Perhaps their 'honeymoon' period will wear off and things will get back closer to normal with your parent. 

[OhioAngel]

BUT the kids of the Step Parent are free to stop and see them anytime!!

[SeaMaiden]

I would always let someone know I want to visit and plan accordingly friends or family....call it scheduling an appointment or whatever....it is just a common  courtesy...politeness...even with parents. I sure do not want someone just showing up to visit.....I have a life.  Think about it. 

[fthunt]

Thanks for the heart - - I guess I'd call it.....a time when it's convenient....not so much an appointment.  After all they are newlyweds.  (wink)

[dex]

What do you mean schedule?I think that it is always polite to let someone know when you plan to visit even family.You should tell your mother how you are feeling so that she can assure you that you will always be loved.If you had a good relationship before then I see no reason for that to change.Be happy for your mom now you can be free to live your life without guilt about leaving her alone when you have plans or relationships.

[Peaches McPhee]

I'd feel fine about it, because that is how we do it in my family.  We'd only stop by a family member's home without an "appointment" in an extreme emergency.  Maybe that is how your step-parent's family is as well.  Drop-ins are just not done.