How would this make you feel?

cookinfreak · ‎03-31-2010

Hi All

Just wondering what you would think if you were in my situation. The last few years my family (which is my S-I-L, (my brother has passed), their two kids, and they each have two kids). I am not married. When we have gotten together for the past several years for holidays my SIL announces "Family Pictures" and calls them all by name. Not one time have they asked me to be included in any. I used to say I wanted pics, but most of the time you could tell they weren't interested. I quit asking. Last year and this year, I did hear from them on my bday (which is in May) but not really any other time except to invite me to the bday parties and they did ask me to the holidays.

I don't know if you remember, but I was in the hospital for 10 days in March and was very, very sick. A few days in Cardiac Int Care.I didn't hear from anyone in my family (I did hear from friends) to ask how I was doing when I was in the hospital and after I got home. I was home for 4 months. I got invited to 4th of July and that is the last time I heard from anyone. Last year the same thing. Didn't hear anything from the 4th of July to Nov when I got a group text for a bday party. I havent heard anything again since July. There has been several cases where the small kids have had medical emergencies but I wasn't told about them. I feel like I am invited only out of obligation. I really don't feel like I should go to any other holidays. I would feel very uncomfortable.

Sorry this got long and hope it makes sense. TIA

cookin

Imaoldhippie · ‎06-10-2015

@cookinfreak ................That would tell me that they are really not interested in maintaining a family relationship and just included me out of obligation.

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE! (unknown)

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

I'm so sorry. That is so sad.

I think I would just stick with my friends. People that uplift you and care about you!

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

Janey2 · ‎06-07-2010

I have a question.....are you sure they knew you were in the hospital?

LindaSal · ‎05-15-2014

@cookinfreak I'm sorry for your situation. You have to wonder about people sometimes. I don't understand why some don't see their own actions as hurtful. Are you gifting at all these parties because one would wonder if you're invited just to bring a gift since it's birthdays and holidays mostly. If you are not comfortable then I would just stay away. There is nothing worse than feeling unwanted and it's better IMO to go with your gut and not put yourself in that situation. You sound like you have friends that care, maybe spend more time with them?? Take good care of yourself, sadly I think this happens more than we realize.

cookinfreak · ‎03-31-2010

@Janey2

Yes. They knew because my boss called my SIL after I called in sick for a few weeks and my SIL came to my house and called 911

cookin

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

@cookinfreak

Same thing goes for divorcees and widows. NOBODY wants an "extra woman" around. di

♥Surface of the Sun♥

JYWilliams · ‎03-10-2010

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Relationship with family sometimes for whatever reasons can be difficult. From what your saying it seems to me like your not a part of the family anymore on their end. Not including you in pictures and not checking up on you while in the hospital and once you got home. Not mentioning emergencies with the small kids. I know people are not obligated but when it comes to family you would think there would be some consideration. If you don't feel like you wanna go then I wouldn't do so. Me, Well I'm the type of person that would mention to them how the have really made me feel like I'm an outsider instead of family. But that's just me. Good Luck to you and what ever you decide to do.