How to deal with a friend issue

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I am very frustrated with a friend. She gave me the name of of orthopedic doctor that she likes so I made an appointment and went to see him this afternoon concerning my foot which had been injured a bit for several weeks. It's been swollen but is starting to get better. I wanted to see what this new doctor had to say. I was impressed with him and liked him a lot.

After my doctor visit, I went to the grocery store, came home & had a snack then went to take a small nap since I didn't sleep well the night before.

I got a text from my friend just before 5pm asking how the doctor visit went. I told her that it went well and I really liked him a lot. I shared a few things that he said. She commented that she was afraid that I wouldn't like him.

I asked her why would she say that? I would not hesitate to go back to him. She texted back because I didn't text her right away to let her know how the visit went.....this annoys me!

I answered her that I didn't realize that I needed to report and I had not even told my husband yet how the visit went. She replied that I wasn't being very nice and she was just concerned. I said that I appreciate the name of the doctor very much but I'm not one who likes to share doctor visits in detail until I'm ready ....or not.

I know that she's angry with me but this is ridiculous!

This is not the first time that she has done this. Early in the summer I had a female issue and she gave me the name of her gyn. (I needed a new doctor). I got an appointment, went and came home. I put my phone down in another room and forgot about it until 9 pm or so.

She had been frantically calling and texting because she was afraid I was in the hospital....My issue?..I was spotting a tiny bit which at my age I shouldn't be and she imagined me being admitted to the hospital.

How do I deal with someone like this? I don't always feel like sharing in detail (this is more than I normally do here) without hurting her feelings.

I told her that I appreciated her giving me the names of those doctors very much but I know she is angry because I didn't give her a report right away.

Goldengate8361 · ‎01-27-2014

Your friend's response is out of line. Your response sounds very respectful to her and to yourself. Sometimes you just can't fix a little "crazy" in other people....so I would suggest that you try hard to not give it another thought. Just carry on. You can stay friends with her, but you'll just need to stay confident in your own rational response and not get too concerned about her irrational response.

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

Ask another friend or get a referral from your PC next time.

I don't like to recommend my doctors to others and I don't ask any friends who I should use.

My mom had an issue once and I learned from that many years ago.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Ok, since this exact same thing happened with they gyn visit, you shouldn't have been surprised. I don't see a big deal here. If she's angry, that's her problem. You aren't required to share your personal health information with her just because she recommends a doctor. Although.... If she's recommending doctors to you, you have already shared some health information with her which explains why she feels you provide updates after the visits. I wouldn't say anything to her. She's miffed but she'll get over it. And stop discussing your health issues with her.

.

Wsmom · ‎03-09-2010

@haddon9 , I also have a friend who gets very concerned if I don't respond to texts right away. Sometimes I find it irritating but overall glad she is such a concerned friend.

As far as having to share things with this friend of yours your best bet is probably not to go to her for recs for new docs. That way she won't have any knowledge of what medical issues you may be dealing with.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@Goldengate8361 @KBEANS Thank you!

I thought that I was being rational and honestly I only told her about my health issue because when I came home from my summer vacation, I had Covid then I hurt my foot. She had asked how the vacation went and how I was doing.

She's the one who started in on using her foot doctor....I said okay but in the future I'm going to find other sources to look for new doctors.

sabatini · ‎06-29-2015

@haddon9, does your friend live alone? Does she have a circle of other friends to do things with?

If she's got limited social life, then something like her personal doctor recommendations to you might take on greater importance than it normally would.

And maybe she was hoping you'd gush a bit.

Muddling through...

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@chrystaltree You're right. She did this to me early in the summer and I thought that it was over the top. Sometimes one has to have it happen more than once.

I won't be discussing who I'm seeing or asking her .....I didn't she sort of insisted that I see these doctors that she likes a lot.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@sabatini She is married with two adult married children and grandchildren who live nearby. She sees them several times a month and has other friends as well.

sabatini · ‎06-29-2015

@haddon9 wrote:
@sabatini She is married with two adult married children and grandchildren who live nearby. She sees them several times a month and has other friends as well.

As Emily Litella would say...