Among Friends

[haddon9]

I am very frustrated with a friend.  

 I don't always feel like sharing in detail (this is more than I normally do here) without hurting her feelings.  

I told her that I appreciated her giving me the names of those doctors very much but I know she is angry because I didn't give her a report right away.

[Goldengate8361]

Your friend's response is out of line. Your response sounds very respectful to her and to yourself. Sometimes you just can't fix a little "crazy" in other people....so I would suggest that you try hard to not give it another thought. Just carry on. You can stay friends with her, but you'll just need to stay confident in your own rational response and not get too concerned about her irrational response. 

[KBEANS]

Ask another friend  or get a referral from your PC next time.

I don't like to recommend my doctors to others and I don't ask any friends who I should use.

My mom had an issue once and I learned from that many years ago.

[chrystaltree]

Ok, since this exact same thing happened with they gyn visit, you shouldn't have been surprised.   I don't see a big deal here.  If she's angry, that's her problem. You aren't required to share your personal health information with her just because she recommends a doctor.  Although....   If she's recommending doctors to you, you have already shared some health information with her which explains why she feels you provide updates after the visits.   I wouldn't say anything to her.  She's miffed but she'll get over it.  And stop discussing your health issues with her.

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[Wsmom]

@haddon9 , I also have a friend who gets very concerned if I don't respond to texts right away.  Sometimes I find it irritating but overall glad she is such a concerned friend.

As far as having to share things with this friend of yours your best bet is probably not to go to her for recs for new docs.   That way she won't have any knowledge of what medical issues you may be dealing with.

[haddon9]

@Goldengate8361 @KBEANS Thank you!  

I thought that I was being rational and honestly I only told her about my health issue because when I came home from my summer vacation, I had Covid then I hurt my foot.  She had asked how the vacation went and how I was doing.

She's the one who started in on using her foot doctor....I said okay but in the future I'm going to find other sources to look for new doctors.

[sabatini]

@haddon9, does your friend live alone? Does she have a circle of other friends to do things with?

If she's got limited social life, then something like her personal doctor recommendations to you might take on greater importance than it normally would.

And maybe she was hoping you'd gush a bit. 

[sabatini]

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@haddon9 wrote:

@sabatini She is married with two adult married children and grandchildren who live nearby.  She sees them several times a month and has other friends as well.

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As Emily Litella would say...