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Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

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@nanny24 wrote:

Just curious how many have a 'Lucy/Ethel' type of best friend, who's always there for you. I, myself, have not been lucky to find that special girlfriend. I had one that I met in high school, and we were inseperable for years. She changed when she got married, she started being 30-45 minutes late for every shopping or lunch date. One time I sat at the food court at the mall for 45 minutes waiting for her, when she got there, she told me that when she was taking a shower, she realized the shower walls needed cleaning, so she cleaned them. I was dumbstruck. But the straw that broke the camel's back, was when she told her husband something I told her in confidence, and asked her to keep it to herself. She had no problem telling me that she told him. He also told her that he was in the hallway listening to our conversation in the living room. We haven't talked for over 10 years, and I really don't miss her. My DH is my best friend, and I really prefer to shop alone, anyway. What about you??


@nanny24   I have a "best friend" that I've known since the 6th grade.  Over the years we've been roommates, in each others' weddings, etc.  However we have grown a bit apart though we still keep in touch throughout the year. 

 

As a matter of fact I have not seen or spoken to her all summer (I realize she is busy with her grandchildren....I don't have any) but we're getting together next week for lunch and I'm looking forward to that.  We live more than an hour apart so that's another reason we don't get together often.

 

I have another friend who I've been close with. She's the type that likes to do a lot together like shopping & running errands. I really prefer shopping & errands on my own and she can be a bit exhausting at times...this is not fun to me.

 

 She was pushing my buttons one day last week and I said something that I regretted to her.  I felt really bad about it afterwards and I apologized profusely.  Yet of course it was me who apologized and it never crossed her mind that maybe she should as well.   I realize that I can't have that sort of friendship...too much togetherness for mundane things is not fun at all to me.  I don't know where that friendship will be going now.  From my point of view I don't mind continuing in small doses, however she likes to take too much control and I will have to see how things go. This has been on my mind a lot the last few days.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your close friend who is now a former friend.  It's terrible that she violated your trust and to me the last straw was cleaning the shower!!!...my goodness it's a message that comes across loud & clear that cleaning something that can be cleaned at anytime is more important than seeing you.

 

I enjoy my girlfriends and like seeing them often for lunch, a movie, etc. but doing anything with someone too much like being inseparable is not a good thing ...at least to me.

 

ETA:  Thanks for starting this thread...as I mentioned earlier in my post that this topic has been on my mind a lot the last few days.  The friend I was referring to ....I actually had a falling out with a number of years ago and didn't speak with her for a long period of time.  We became close again about 5 years ago....however she's a very controlling person and I don't like to be controlled by someone.  At this point only time will tell if we remain friends.  If we do however I will see her far less than I have been.

 

As for my husband, we've been married for 37 years and he always has my back.  However doing things with DH is not the same as getting together with girlfriends.  For example I love Downton Abbey & saw the movie with a girlfrined.  DH would have fallen asleep if I dragged him to see it.

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

I have a BFF and also a dear friend who is a very close second. I'm blessed.

Respected Contributor
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Registered: ‎05-12-2012

Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

my best friend of over 30 years died suddenly 2 years ago......i miss her every day....

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Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?


@nanny24 wrote:

Just curious how many have a 'Lucy/Ethel' type of best friend, who's always there for you. I, myself, have not been lucky to find that special girlfriend. I had one that I met in high school, and we were inseperable for years. She changed when she got married, she started being 30-45 minutes late for every shopping or lunch date. One time I sat at the food court at the mall for 45 minutes waiting for her, when she got there, she told me that when she was taking a shower, she realized the shower walls needed cleaning, so she cleaned them. I was dumbstruck. But the straw that broke the camel's back, was when she told her husband something I told her in confidence, and asked her to keep it to herself. She had no problem telling me that she told him. He also told her that he was in the hallway listening to our conversation in the living room. We haven't talked for over 10 years, and I really don't miss her. My DH is my best friend, and I really prefer to shop alone, anyway. What about you??


 Had  some similiar experiences with my best friend from high school for abt 47 yrs .  Had 2 major falling outs over all those yrs and been patient that she is always late . However, I value our friendship  and I just forgive her . I held out the olive branch  after we fell ot twice which lasted for a couple of months of not talking with one another .  In the end , I believe this  quote :

“A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others”


L. Frank Baum, THe Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,378
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

I had, who I thought was a good friend, until about 2 months ago. She posted something on Facebook and got all bent out of shape because I didn't "like" it. She called me and reemed me out. I apologized and I thought we made amends. I haven't heard from her since. Her dh even unfriended me on Facebook. Maybe I'm missing something but they are really acting juvenile. Geez its FACEBOOK. Who cares. 

"Pure Michigan"
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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

Cats are my friends now. Life when you grow old is difficult.

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Registered: ‎04-06-2010

Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

Loving to read all of these replies. Haddon9, I loved what you said about being more fun to do some things with a girlfriend. I agree, but too old now to start looking!! I have a couple of 'lunch buddies', will have to settle for that!

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Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

I am fortunate in that I have several good friends; one a recent friend and the others long time friends.  I am also close to one of my sisters.  But when it comes to a "best friend"; I have two of those.  I have known one for over 35 years, I met her when I started my first real job.  She's older than I am, she was my supervisor.  She was beautiful and brilliant and assertive; all the things I wasn't.  I adored her, I wanted to be her.  I left when I got pregnant with my first child, I actually only worked for 2 years.  But she and I remained friends.  I won't lie, I loved my girls and my husband but I absolutely hated the life of a sahm and my friend was the only one who understood that and who I could be honest with about it.  She kept me sane during my 9 sahm years.  She reminded me that "it's just temporary" until the girls were in school full time and then I could be the me I was meant to be.  That's how she phrased it.  And when I was ready to dip  my toe in the professional world again, she was there for me in every way.  She was my mentor again.  We had very different lives and there were times when we didn't see each other for months but we never lost the connection.  It remains to this day.   I have known my other best friend for close to 25 years, we met through our children's activities.  We both have girls and we lived on the same street so we did all the school and kid things together and a deep friendship was formed.  Those two are my rocks, my confidantes.  And I have been that for them too because we have all been through our ups and downs.  That's what a "best friend" is to me and that's why my husband is not and could never be my best friend.  He occupies another place in my heart and in my world.  I was never one of those girls who had a ton of friends in h.s. and college.  I have a more friends now than I ever had, a group of 5.  It's nice.  We have fun together.  We have varying interests so some are closer to others.  Which isn't to say that any friendship is all sweet and wonderful with never cross word or hurt feeling.  Just as every marriage has it's bumps, so does every friendship.  I think this where being from a large family with 4 siblings helped me.  I always understood that it was ok to argue or be angry with a friend but if you value the friendship, you work it out.  Kiss and makeup, so to speak.  Although there are some things that are unforgiveable like broken confidence.  We had another  friend once and we found out that she shared all of our private and personal conversations with her husband.  Even when someone specifically asked that something remain strictly confidential, she would run home and tell her husband.  To me, that was nothing more than mean gossip and I ended the friendship with her because a person who behaves like that cannot be trusted and is not a friend at all.  Her gossiping with her husband caused terrible problems for another girl in our group after the husband repeated something private to someone else.     

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Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

I've had a couple of best friends in the past, but we've list contact over the years.  I have a couple of good friends at work, but we hardly ever see each other.  Other than those two, every one else I just consider an acquaintance. I would say my mother is my best friend.

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Registered: ‎05-01-2010

Re: How many of you have a 'best friend'?

My best friend of a little over 40 years, died a year and a half ago. Miss her every day.