Among Friends

[gidgetgh]

As @Kachina624 said, taking pictures of items is a great tool and I've used it often.

Many times I've found that looking at the picture on my phone or iPad is enough. That I don't need the actual item anymore. That works most of the time and, in some cases, over time, I have been able to delete some of the pictures.

I follow the Marie Kondo/Konmari method of decluttering and organizing for the most part.  She teaches you to downsize by category. You start with easier categories like paper (which does not include pictures) and you work your way through and end with "sentimental". By then, decluttering and purging should be a little easier. Don't start with the emotionally hard things. Just don't. 

It also helps me not to flit around. Start in one room and don't go to other rooms. Stay there until you finish.  Obviously, you don't have to finish a room in a day, but stay in that room till it's done.  Gives you a much better feeling of progress. 

I often call this process by a really crude term. I call it "dismantling a life". Cause that's what it is.  And it stinks.  I did my mother in law's house, our old house when we moved in 2005, my parents house and then our "new" house.  I moved early this year.

My theory is I don't want whoever is going to clean out my things to feel trapped by it all and overwhelmed.  And even though it can be emotionally difficult, it can also feel very freeing.

Here's something for you. It's one of my very favorite items.  It belonged to my mom.  A simple bank envelope.  And it has meaning for me because of what it meant to her and I will never, ever get rid of it.  Never. And I also have a picture of it, just in case. Whoever cleans out my house will roll their eyes as they hurl it in the trash, but I'll be gone so I won't know.  It is one of the most important things in my house. Go figure. 

You can do this @sarahpanda .  You are strong and you can do it.

[MezzieStarr]

I tell myself I can't take it with me when I'm gone.

I also don't want to be a burden to those I leave behind.

Not fair leaving them with a bunch of stuff to go through and get rid of.

I've been in the process of downsizing the last couple of years.

It gets easier as you go.

In the end, I realize it's just stuff and means nothing to anyone but me.

[gidgetgh]

Oh, and I also thank my items and say goodbye as I'm donating or trashing them.  I thank them for the use or the place they had in my life and then I let them go.

[granddi]

I found it harder to leave our home of 42 years and my career. 

You just have to convince yourself that no one in your family wants stuff.

I would have an entire picture album of a Disneyland trip. I tossed out all the pictures that did not have family, pictures that were duplicates, pictures of inanimated objects for example. 

As suggested, its easier to do this gradually than all at once.

[GenXmuse]

Maybe just get rid of half? If you're not ready you could rent a small storage locker until you're settled in and take it a little at a time or decide it's worth keeping.  

[Nonametoday]

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@Grace729 wrote:

Impermanence. Only hurts when I identify with anything and make an identity of it for myself.  Learn to enjoy watching people, places and things come and go.  Dance of leilah. The play of form. Recognizing all will pass

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@

Attaching a memory or identity with a piece makes it difficult to part with.  I have too many memories stored up and it is hard to release because those were, indeed, my best days, before marriage and once my kiddies began coming along.

[Goodie2shoes]

I understand and feel your pain. I sold my home of over 40 yrs in 2019 and moved into an apartment. I had so much "stuff" collected over the years and it was so hard to determine what to keep and what to get rid of. So many memories. I had to make some hard decisions to scale down from a 3 bd room home with a full basement to a 2 bd room apartment single level. I gave away stuff ( furniture, lawnmower, ladders, futon, etc) but kept alot of personal stuff that I packed in boxes and stuffed in closets, just can't bear to part with. Good luck on your downsizing adventure, every now and then I will go through a box and maybe get rid of one thing that I have finally decided it can go so it takes time. Again it's hard so I understand where you are. 

[Nonametoday]

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@granddi wrote:

I found it harder to leave our home of 42 years and my career. 

You just have to convince yourself that no one in your family wants stuff.

I would have an entire picture album of a Disneyland trip. I tossed out all the pictures that did not have family, pictures that were duplicates, pictures of inanimated objects for example. 

As suggested, its easier to do this gradually than all at once.

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@granddi 

I think that is another thing that bothers me.  I don't understand why some of my children prefer all this Chinese tossable junk to the great things and pictures of our past.  We are disposing the past for a disposable future.  Maybe they have it:  easy come, easy go.  Earn it today, toss it tomorrow, nothing to leave to anyone including the gubmint.

[sandy53]

"It's just stuff."  I had to change my mind-set to realize that I don't need stuff to remember people, events, or other memories.  I'm not saying it's easy to do, but it works.

[Chopsmom]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

This is what I just recently did.  I had all of my meaningful objects in a large curio cabinet.  Mostly my mother's antiques.  What I didn't love of that stuff, I donated and removed everything else and displayed them around my home. 

All the things that were all over the house are now in the cabinet.   If after a time, if I find myself not even missing the items in the curio, out they'll go - along with the cabinet.

Basically, it's like the "if I haven't wore that in a year, out it goes" as it pertains to clothes.

Doesn't have to be a year, but just moving something out of view, you might miss it less.

Hope everything works out for you.