Among Friends

[sparklestar]

I also know if you don't move on and you get stuck, you're giving up. 

[sweetee2]

                    I think the hardest part is realizing that your at this time in your life and where did it go. It seams that all of a sudden the kids are married parents have passed and now what do you do with your life. Just take a moment at a time, day at a time.

[Havarti]

It was this very experience in life that taught me our memories are not in those things, but alive a well in your heart and your mind.  We had a wonderful time sharing memories about even the littlest of things, like mixing bowls that mom used to whip up the batter & frosting for our birthday cakes, or the measuring stick that was used to mark our height each year just as the school started, or the baby jars that dad used to store assorted nuts, screws & bolts.  If only I had a nickel for every time we said “I remember” as we sorted through their household of treasures.  For me the actual hardest thing was walking out the door for the last time and turning my back to walk away.  But it was also the moment that I knew the now empty shell of their home had not held the memories, all those memories where going out the door and down the walk with me.  There were no treasures in my hands, they were all in my heart.  You will get through this and you will still have all those memories to last your lifetime.  Hang in there!

[Moonchilde]

Don't think about there being a time frame. Take things one day at a time. Grieve when you need to. Lean on others when you can. Be kind to yourself.

[Nonametoday]

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@Mistreatedbycs wrote:

Never thought it would be this hard to actually move on.  Loss of parents, house being sold, furnishings being sold, lots of memories but it's really hard.

Some things in life need to be easy but this is not one of them.

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My faith got me through this.  My husband buried his father on mother's day and his mother on father's day, the same year.  You need a good support group either from family, friends, neighbors and/or your church friends.  You might need to express to those whom you trust in those groups your feelings of overwhelming loss.  So many people are so willing to help if they only know you need it.  I offer my prayers for you this evening.  

Dear Heavenly Father, please lift up your child, who is suffering deep feelings of lonliness in grief  and loss.  Lord,  I don't need to tell you.  You know her heart.  Lord, I ask you to lift her up, release the feeling of being crushed to the depths of her soul, a feeling she alone cannot shake.  

She, as many of us have felt when facing the loss of loved ones, feel as if a part of us has died.  Please lift that darkness and give her the strength to face tomorrow and tomorrow give her the strength for the next day, to take one day at a time, through your love for her.  Guide her through this storm so that she may be able to help others in the future who will face the same.  Lord, we know you give us time in which to spill our grief and in that time to gain our strength and the ability to reflect on the wonderful memories  and not the grief.  In His name, we ask this for your child.  Amen.

[Nonametoday]

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18  

[CAMOGIRL]

Slowly. How ever long it takes.

Remember the good times, the happy times.

A good cry helps a little too. 

They say it gets easier with time, it really does. Your memories will be with you always.

[BalletBabe]

I buried My Mother at the age of 29, I was 27 when I buried one of my brothers, Then  at age of 34 buried another brother and 3 months later my Father.  This year, I buried my husband.  I truely understand what your feeling.  LIke everyone else said , it takes time. It takes a long time, and I am not sure I ever got over it 100%.  You learn to accept it and move on.  Keep busy that helps a lot.  Prayers for you to get through this difficult time.

[beach-mom]

@Mistreatedbycs -It IS hard! My mom died suddenly from septic shock syndrome when my son had just turned one, and I was left with the house and the belongings of both parents, grandparents,  and my late brother who died in his 20's. 

Like others have said, faith helps. I made a lot of mistakes. I trusted one of my mother's friends, who with the lawyer, convinced me to have an auction. I told my surviving uncle and my three cousins to come up and take what they wanted. I also told my late brother's best friend, who was an angel for me during that time. DH went down; I couldn't. It was awful. Things I wanted to keep somehow didn't get put aside for me. A lot of things were lost. Right before the auction, someone took the wrought iron benches that were on the front porch, and that my dad had bolted down. No one knows what happened to them. They were stolen. 

I still have boxes to go through. I have boxes of pictures from my brother's college days. No one will know the people in them, but I just can't get myself to get rid of them. 

It's hitting me hard now, with our children getting older (but not on their own yet). I can't keep everything. I know that, and yet I want to. I have to get past the point of thinking the memories are in the "things," and I haven't done that yet.

I will be thinking of you. Like others have said, just take it one day at a time. Do what you feel like doing, and don't rush through anything. (((HUGS)))

[qualitygal]

Everyone is so right, that it's one day at a time. It is possible and you will be able to move on. They must be with us in some way, for us to feel them still. You'll remember what they did and things they said and you will find yourself laughing. It is a part of life, and it is something (moving on) that we all go through in our own way. Bless your heart and hugs and best wishes to you. There's no time limit or set time, so go easy on yourself. It is about little steps at a time.