Among Friends

[Puppy Lips]

We are all so sorry you are going through this.  Many of us here have gone through it or know it is coming.  I can't even imagine my DH not being here anymore.

I think you just have to acknowledge that it is going to be tough.  But know that every day will get a little bit easier, overall, because there will be hills and valleys along the way.  Picture yourself in the future, when you have adjusted, and know that that day is coming.

Blessings to you both.

[Qgirl26]

@sarahpanda, I'm so sorry! The things I heard during my husband's 7 year battle with terminal cancer aggravated me beyond belief.  People mean well but they say the worst things! It's a tough journey going from we to me. There's nothing easy about it and you just take it one day at a time, one minute at a time if necessary. I don't know you and don't know about your faith. For me, that was and still is what got me through. But for you it might be different. But nothing anyone says will make it not hurt! Your life is about to drastically change. For now, be there and savor these last moments. Tell him the things you want to say, even if he's unconscious. Just love and support him until the moment he passes. The only piece of advice I ever give anyone is to do what feels best to you. People will tell you what they think you should do or how they think you should grieve. There are no rules to grieving so do what feels best for you, things like support groups or not or what to do with your free time or how to spend your holidays. Let your heart guide you and realize that people mean well because they so badly want to help but they just can't. You have no choice but to go through this and those who try to make it better just need to understand this. My heart truly goes out to you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[meallen616]

Death is very difficult, we are here for you,

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[cindyNC]

@sarahpanda So very sorry you have to endure some of the crazy things people say.  They won't understand until they experience the same situation. 

[Bookplate]

I am very sorry you are going through this misery.

I agree with others that people say insensitive and graceless things to the grieving simply out of awkwardness.  Genuine expressions of empathy seem problematic for some people so they repeat stock phrases to cover their communication difficulties.

I have been on the receiving end of a few, but also genuine expressions of compassion, which touched me.

I wish you comfort and strength going forward.

[kitcat51]

Prepare yourself, there's more of that to come....when my husband drowned oh the things that were said when they were trying to be kind. Many need to learn that three simple words...I'm so sorry...is all the grieving can handle. Blessings @sarahpanda 

[Goodie2shoes]

My heart goes out to you and your family.  I hope having this forum to express your feelings about what someone said to you and have others understand what you are going through will give you some peace of mind. This is "soul shaking" for you and know that you must speak your feelings and have time to  grieve. May the Lord bless you and your family during this time and beyond.    

[Imaoldhippie]

I would not know how to explain heartbreak.  But I have been through it.  My little brother whom I was very close to passed away 3 years ago.  My heart was very heavy.  I am still very sad and it gets less but I dont think it will ever go away.

My daughter lost her husband last October and she is having a very hard time dealing with it.  She is still seeing a grief counselor.

I think time is the only healer for grief.  It gets less but never completely goes away.

I am so very sorry about your husband.  May God be with you and your family at this time.

[Forbidden Fruit]

@sarahpanda 

Sometimes I think people feel they "need" to say something, when in fact, they should just listen.  

Keep holding your husband's hand and tell him what you need him to hear.  He knows you are there and can hear you even if he can't respond. You will experience many emotions, so I hope you will extend yourself some grace and time. No one will completely understand until they walk the same path.  

Prayers for peace and strength to you and your husband for the days ahead. 

[webbgarner1]

@sarahpanda  Lifting you and your family up in prayer. Praying God will be merciful to your husband and his passing will be peaceful. Praying God will wrap his loving arms around you, and bring you peace during this difficult time and hold you up as you walk through the next chapter of this life.

I am sorry this woman was so insensetive to you and your situation. Some people simply do not know how to deal with situations as yours.