Among Friends

[Zhills]

This week, a neighbor walked over (actually out in the road) and yelled at me like I was a stray dog.  

He had accessed a situation by what he thought he had seen from his house and was completely wrong!    Of course, he didn't apologize, just walked away!

My question is....when this happens, how do you dispel the bad feelings?  I don't know if I am hurt, angry, depressed or what?  I've never been yelled at like that!!  What ever it is doesn't feel good!  How do you get rid of these feelings?

[Kachina624]

Just try to move on and forget it.   You can't fix stupid.   In life,  you've got to take the bitter with the sweet... fortunately there are many more of the sweet. 

[Karnerblue]

I'm not a good one to give you any advice in this area.  I tend to take another's anger and think I am to blame.  It's just the manner in which I was brought up.  I think you are either the kind of person that can brush it off or you're not.  I know there are many good people here with good suggestions.  Maybe you can calm down and after a day or two approach him and explain that you didn't appreciate his actions toward you and hope you don't have to be witness to his disturbing behavior.

[QVCkitty1]

My problem is that I'm always blindsided by really bad behavior. I can't think of anything to say at the time, so I stew about it, and hours later think of the perfect comeback. It's easy for me to say let it go, but if this person won't see reason, what else can you do ?

[Karnerblue]

@Zhills, see @Kachina624 is one tough cookie.  I bet she handles those situations just like she said.  But we are all different so you have to find what works for you. What do you think would bring you peace?

[Noel7]

I think you just have to wait it out for a time, telling yourself all along that the guy was in the wrong.

Normal people don't behave like that, only people with anger issues or just out and out bullies behave that way.

So sorry you had to go through that.

[Noel7]

BTW, don't apologize and don't think you have to have some kind of normalized relationship with him.  He does not seem stable from what you have described.

Stay away from him as much as possible because you don't deserve negative energy in your life.

[Katyq]

If you try to do anything about it it could escalate. I agree with @Kachina624 - you can't fix stupid. I have had similar situations that drive me crazy for weeks or months, but I eventually get over it (more or less) and I feel safer than if I had done anything.

[Lyttlewyng]

I'm sorry this happened to you.  Your neighbor verbally attacking you was completely wrong and unjustified.   His harshness and uncalled for browbeating certainly would upset anyone if it happened to them.   As you pointed out,  he was wrong in his assumption of the situation.  He's probably dealing with the fact that he made a jerk out of himself but his pride and ego won't let him right his wrong.

The point is, he was wrong.

My feeling is that this is still new and you are still feeling the affects of the injustice and the jarring impact of the verbal attack.  In time, these feelings will slowly lessen where you will find coping with it easier as time passes.

Surround yourself with positive friends and family.  Laugh and focus on the things that make you happy and allow you to move on from a bad situation.

[Moonchilde]

I would write a letter telling him just how wrong he'd gotten things, that he didn't know WT* he was talking about, and in future please keep away from you and your home and ST*U. And leave in in his mailbox or on his porch, etc. And if he keeps it up, consult an atty for possible legal action.