How Can Anyone Save So Much STUFF?? - Page 2

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

From what I have learned, she would have fit into the "depression" group and they learned to keep things since the war was on and money was scarce. They must have come up with the phrase that said, reuse, wear it out, or go without. They lived it.

hoosieroriginal · ‎03-04-2012

It makes you realize how quickly we can collect STUFF. I have my house down to bare minimum. Makes you feel good to have a uncluttered home. If I hadn't used it in last two years, out it went. My neighbor got a ton of my stuff to add to all of hers (she is a hoarder), but at least it's not in my house anymore!

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

You have my synpathies,for losing you mil and for being stuck with the responsibility of cleaning up that lifetime of stuff she left behind. My own parents (thank, the Lord) were not like that. They were not horders and while living into your 80's naturally means that you accumulate a lot of things, they were good at understanding was worth saving what was junk. I have friends were not as fortunate. One friend lost her mom 3 years ago, she is single, no siblings and has health issues and she is still clearing out that house. Her mother was a clean person too and had a houskeeper come in every week and kept the living room and kitchen orderly but every other room was stuffed with stuff. Another friend lost both parents within weeks of each other and she was left with a similar situation. The downstairs was fine. The upstairs and the attic and basment brought her to tears when she saw what she had to deal with. I think it's just a matter of personality and perhaps even some selfishness. Some people are collectors and they like having phyical memories around.....evern when they don't look at the stuff for 50 years. And they give no thought about what willl happen when they die. They don't understand the magnitude of the problem and the work and man hours that go into sorting and cleaning up. Hubby and I have never been chonic "savers" and we downsized several years ago and knew what was truly worth keeping and what wasn't. We're 56 now and my hope is that in the decades to come, we won't become people who fall into the "I'll save this" trap.

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

Many years ago, my in-laws moved from their 3 story house and several out builindings, a garage and a barn--into a retirement center. Not long after, each got sick and died. So now their 6 kids had to go clear out all those buildings to be able to sell the house. It took us nearly 2 years of every other weekend to do it. Why we did it that way was because everyone had jobs and kids and lived in opposite ends of the state. There were several tons of stuff towed away as well as donations and then things of value to go thru. They lived in that place since 1962 and this was prob 20+ years ago. It was just stuff from raising 6 kids there and then being of that generation that dealt with the depression during the 20's. It was truly mind bending at times but very interesting as well as getting the siblings and fams together too. I need to go thru all the stuff I have which is way to much.

BriggsiePeawiggle · ‎03-09-2010

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. I'm sorry so many of you had to go through this, as well. My own parents were also depression kids, and they were very budget-conscious, but my mom had such good common sense that she wasn't going to live forever. She had to go through her mother's house, so she had an understanding of what it was like. She downsized from the house where we (6 of us) were raised to a condo and got rid of TONS of stuff then -- with our help, but mostly she did it. Then she moved into a seniors apartment and sold off more stuff. I remember she cried when her diningroom set went out the door to a buyer because it was her and my dad's first piece of good furniture that they had bought, but we cheered her up. Then she went to assisted living and finally a nursing home. By the time she got to the nursing home, there was only personal effects, which made it very simple at the time she died to take care of the business of it. My husband's parents never had to clean up after anyone. My mil's family home is still in the family with a sister, and my fil is from Poland and never had a home except for what he got here. This current house is beautiful. It's 1450 square feet -- not huge, but big for 2 people......every room was full of stuff....every closet -- and there are lots of them, plus the basement and upstairs. We are about 1/2-way done and hope to finish tomorrow. Fortunately we have wonderful friends -- a couple who live close to us and whom I have been friends with (the lady) since I was 3 years old -- helping us out. We could NEVER get it done ourselves right now with my current health mess. I thank God for good friends.

Yes I had to YANK and PULL my inlaws to get any sort of legal paperwork even when they were in their 90's. I downloaded legal forms for my state for power of attorney, filled them out, had them notarized while they signed in their city offices, and then we took the paperwork to a lawyer to make sure it was okay. It was. Thank GOD we did that, because otherwise, we would be in a much worse mess. I kept thinking as they moved farther and farther into their 90's how they could be in such deep denial about what what to come and dump all of this on their only surviving son......to me that seems really odd. I almost want to say selfish -- but I don't think it is. I think it's just denial.

Briggs

1jenniferjuniper · ‎03-09-2010

@BriggsiePeawiggle wrote:
My 99-year old mother-in-law passed about 2 weeks ago. We have sold her house, and we are working hard on getting it cleared out. She was an extremely clean and neat housekeeper until she got older, but she never let ONE THING go.....nothing. I found my 65 year old husband's school tablets where he learned how to read and count and write from 1st grade through high school. She saved them all. I found a letter from her sister on Thanksgiving 1949. And as she got older and more frail, she started jamming things in bag after bag after bag....on bookshelves, on desktops. I think I filled about 30 bags full of just paper stuff that was meaningless. I pulled out a couple of touching things....like the letter from her sister. Sister's children are still alive, so I will send it to her son. I also found a telegram announcing the birth of his older sister, so I will send her that.

Being as she died at 99 and my father-in-law passed last year at 102, there were LOTS of family who passed before them. I found box after box of really pretty crucifixes -- the kind the prop in the lid of a casket for viewing. I decided that since some very Catholic people bought the house (and we are not at all), that I will just leave all the crucifixes on a table that they can place wherever they would like around the house. They told us to leave anything we wanted, but we will not leave any junk behind or any closets to clean out or anything like that. It will be clean and neat, but I'll leave them a few things I think they will like. They were really dear friends of my inlaws.

Since I am still in the fairly early recovery of my second hip replacement within 5 months of the first one, I'm not worth much except sitting and sorting papers and tossing stuff into garbage bags. A couple who are dear friends came up with us today and spent the day cataloging all the donation materials. We are all going back up on Monday to start in again, but I think we can finish it on Monday. Whew......WHAT A JOB! I guess most people don't realize what they are leaving behind for their loved ones to clean up -- the types who save everything. I am more of a tosser. My husband (of course he is) is usually a saver. He's handling all of this really well though. I keep telling him -- just take a few meaningful things, but our house is full NOW!

This has been really hard.

Wow , such a lot of hostility in this post. I hope you get to work fast cleaning out your own home so you won't burden someone else with the job!!!

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@1jenniferjuniper wrote:

@BriggsiePeawiggle wrote:
My 99-year old mother-in-law passed about 2 weeks ago. We have sold her house, and we are working hard on getting it cleared out. She was an extremely clean and neat housekeeper until she got older, but she never let ONE THING go.....nothing. I found my 65 year old husband's school tablets where he learned how to read and count and write from 1st grade through high school. She saved them all. I found a letter from her sister on Thanksgiving 1949. And as she got older and more frail, she started jamming things in bag after bag after bag....on bookshelves, on desktops. I think I filled about 30 bags full of just paper stuff that was meaningless. I pulled out a couple of touching things....like the letter from her sister. Sister's children are still alive, so I will send it to her son. I also found a telegram announcing the birth of his older sister, so I will send her that.

Being as she died at 99 and my father-in-law passed last year at 102, there were LOTS of family who passed before them. I found box after box of really pretty crucifixes -- the kind the prop in the lid of a casket for viewing. I decided that since some very Catholic people bought the house (and we are not at all), that I will just leave all the crucifixes on a table that they can place wherever they would like around the house. They told us to leave anything we wanted, but we will not leave any junk behind or any closets to clean out or anything like that. It will be clean and neat, but I'll leave them a few things I think they will like. They were really dear friends of my inlaws.

Since I am still in the fairly early recovery of my second hip replacement within 5 months of the first one, I'm not worth much except sitting and sorting papers and tossing stuff into garbage bags. A couple who are dear friends came up with us today and spent the day cataloging all the donation materials. We are all going back up on Monday to start in again, but I think we can finish it on Monday. Whew......WHAT A JOB! I guess most people don't realize what they are leaving behind for their loved ones to clean up -- the types who save everything. I am more of a tosser. My husband (of course he is) is usually a saver. He's handling all of this really well though. I keep telling him -- just take a few meaningful things, but our house is full NOW!

This has been really hard.

Wow , such a lot of hostility in this post. I hope you get to work fast cleaning out your own home so you won't burden someone else with the job!!!

I don't think it was really hostile. You go spend months and years sorting through and throwing away meaningless junk people were too lazy to throw away and a little hostility might creep in too. A lot of this is just people didn't throw it away. It wasn't that they were from the depression, it was that they didn't clean house and spend some of their time digging around in the drawers and closets like we all SHOULD do. BEEN there done that and it took a couple of years out of my own life to deal with it. That's why the last time I simply called an estate sale company.

There's nothing to feel guilty about either, and you aren't obligated to keep this stuff. Get rid of it and go on with your life. I'm saying for the novices in this "hobby".

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

I'm not saying I have too much to offer here. Sometimes people who are savers just might not be conscious of how much they have accumulated. Then, as they age and become frail, the task of cleaning out would be overwhelming, and then they don't do it. If it's overwhelming to a much younger person in good health, think of how it would be for them. This may be the case in some instances. We are in the process of getting rid of stuff, and it takes a lot of time and energy. We throw away, donate, and offer some goodies to the kids.