Holidays with extended family ? - Page 3

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

It's probably not a good idea to mention you don't like aunt Mary. Sometimes secrets find a way out, then it could impact the times you enjoy. I would go, mingle and eat. Stay an hour or two. You have to eat anyway, why not have something tasty. Tell your DIL thank you for inviting me, everything was so nice. I've had a long day, so I'm heading home. Nice to see you again aunt Mary.

My sister used to host two Christmases. It was always so ackward. She'd have her ex's family over on Christmas eve for dinner. The best of everything was served. Our family was invited for lunch on Christmas day. My sister served ham, potato salad and whatever was leftover from the previous night. We didn't care for the ex's family, but nobody knew it.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

My first, honest thought in reading the OP is “be careful what you wish for.”

You’re okay, currently, with being alone on Christmas/major holidays - but you may not always be okay with it. Don’t slam the door on invitations, or you may stop getting any, and life (including your son’s) will go on without you.

Think about 5 or 10 years from now. Will you want to be sitting home alone every family get-together because you shut the door? If that will be fine, then go for it - cut the cord, and live with the consequences.

Me personally - once or twice a year, I would go - and make some mental adjustments beforehand - you honestly don’t have to hate every minute of it unless it’s your decision that you will. I am often surrounded by “not really my kind of person” at family get-togethers - and I manage to find something to talk about and people to talk to.

It’s a few hours once or twice a year. If it was me, I’d suck it up and go.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Many, many years ago, when we had more energy (lol), we used to spend various holidays time at two houses. It's difficult, because at the first house, we couldn't enjoy all of the delicious food (all my favorites, btw) because we knew that we would be eating another big early dinner a couple of hours later. Now circumstances permit us to enjoy the one big meal. Much more relaxing, to say the least.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

O/P: I wouldn't go. Just make up some sort of excuse, or say that you want to rest and relax on Christmas Eve. Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable situation, especially with the dogs roaming around, etc. (I love, love dogs, but sometimes too many all at one time could be a bit much at an indoor holiday get-together.) Lots of good luck, and enjoy your time of relaxation.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

Drink a few cocktails before you go!

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

While I don't mind dogs, I sure wouldn't want to be in a house that is full of them. Just thank DIL for the invitation, but say you'd prefer to stay home.

Wheatchick1 · ‎03-10-2010

@Moonchilde wrote:
My first, honest thought in reading the OP is “be careful what you wish for.”

You’re okay, currently, with being alone on Christmas/major holidays - but you may not always be okay with it. Don’t slam the door on invitations, or you may stop getting any, and life (including your son’s) will go on without you.

Think about 5 or 10 years from now. Will you want to be sitting home alone every family get-together because you shut the door? If that will be fine, then go for it - cut the cord, and live with the consequences.

Me personally - once or twice a year, I would go - and make some mental adjustments beforehand - you honestly don’t have to hate every minute of it unless it’s your decision that you will. I am often surrounded by “not really my kind of person” at family get-togethers - and I manage to find something to talk about and people to talk to.

It’s a few hours once or twice a year. If it was me, I’d suck it up and go.

Moonchilde, you are so right. When I think of all the creative excuses DH and I used to come up with just so we could avoid those irritating family get-togethers.

Fast forward to my life now. Oh how life can turn on a dime. DH died suddenly (we weren’t blessed with children), my Daddy died and the only person left in my life is my Mother who has end stage Alzheimer’s and will not even know when I visit her in the nursing home. I am totally alone in this universe except for my dogs and Mother’s cat. This is a cold world we live in and it makes me more sad than you can imagine. But lest you think that I am feeling sorry for myself let me assure you that I do not at all. Over the years I have accepted the fact that life is not a Norman Rockwell painting.

I guess the best way to describe my emotions is that I just feel wistful. The thing that saddens me the most is that I have come to realize that there are so many people who are in the same situation. Everyone needs someone.

I just hope the OP never has to feel what it’s like to have no one care whether you are there or not. It feels totally different on the other side of the coin.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@missy1 wrote:
Drink a few cocktails before you go!

Before and during, if possible. It will improve mood and the get-together in general. No, not like you need to get smashed in order to go, but you can arrive and maintain a bit of relaxed jolly and maybe decide these people aren’t so bad after all ;-)

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

A lot of people would appreciate the kindness and just make the best of it. It's only one day. Honestly, I don't think you can get out of every invitation, every year. Occasionally, you can make up an excuse but to maintain a good relationship with your daughter in law and her family, you have to graciously accept. Declining will hurt your dil and she WILL tell her family and that will forever sour your relationship with all of them. And it will embarrass your son. If you don't mind any of that, if you are ok with that, decline the invitation.

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

I agree with @Moonchilde...life can change on a dime...and I certainly wouldn't tell your Son that you don't like so and so...will cause hard feelings...

I HATE going over my Hubby's sister's house for Christmas Eve...but I suck it up and go since it is only one time a year We stay for anhour and a half and then Thank everyone and go home and relax......