Holding a Grudge - Page 2

Scooby Doo · ‎03-14-2010

@CherryHugs wrote:
Has anyone ever held a grudge against you for a very long time?

When I have reason to be upset or mad I always forgive quickly and I dont hold a grudge.

I have this former friend that got upset at me a long time ago and it was such a silly thing. She never accepted my apology and never moved on!

Seems like a waste of time and energy to act this way over a misunderstanding over a guy!

She had been spoiled her whole life so maybe this contributed to how she acted. I would speak to her if she would speak to me and I would even be friends again. We used to be such good friends and had so much in common.

Sounds to me that she has moved on, you're just not in the picture any more. Perhaps the friendship meant more to you than it did to her. If it was that long ago, you need to forgetaboutit.

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@CherryHugs wrote:
Has anyone ever held a grudge against you for a very long time?

When I have reason to be upset or mad I always forgive quickly and I dont hold a grudge.

I have this former friend that got upset at me a long time ago and it was such a silly thing. She never accepted my apology and never moved on!

Seems like a waste of time and energy to act this way over a misunderstanding over a guy!

She had been spoiled her whole life so maybe this contributed to how she acted. I would speak to her if she would speak to me and I would even be friends again. We used to be such good friends and had so much in common.

How do you know she has not moved on? She many have forgiven you yet has choosen not to continue the friendship, that is not a grudge. Just because you may think it was a misunderstanding she may have been very hurt. Many people live by "forgive but never forget" motto.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Honestly, I don't spend much time worrying or thinking about such things. I can control myself but I cannot control what other people think or how they feel. Yes, I had an experience like that with a person who had been a friend in work and in our personal lives for many years. We agreed to do a joint proposal on something at work but she delayed and delayed and delayed for months for no acceptable reason. This was something that I really wanted badly and time was running out to propose it so afte her 4th or 5th delay, I went ahead alone and I got what I wanted. My friend was angry and hurt that I did that, she thought I should have give her one more chance. Despite the fact that she kept delaying for months. Honestly, I thought she changed her mind and I didn't want to pressure into something she no longer wanted. I thought that was behind the delays. She said she understood but she froze me out after that. Since that time, we only speak about work matters and she has done some talking behind my back. Knowing full well that it would get back to me. I don't think I did anything wrong but nonetheless, I apologized....twice, perhaps three times. Made no difference to her. I miss her as friend but I accept that she can't forgive me and has chosen to end a 10 year friendship.

Lilysmom · ‎03-09-2010

@CherryHugs, it depends on the situation. What you view as a grudge, your friend may view as a betrayal. The gravity of it is in the eye of the beholder. Whatever happened, some times people are prepared to forego a further relationship. There is nothing you can do about that but move on. LM

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@Lilysmom Well said.

shoptilyadropagain · ‎03-19-2014

I honestly don't know if I've hurt someone and they were offended. Unfortunately, for me, I tend to hold onto a grudge longer than I should. Even then, when I've moved past it, I will forgive but not forget.

I had a good friend that was semi toxic and everything was "ME ME ME". I cut ties with her but still see her occasionally. I'm cordial and can chat with her for awhile but I know we'll never be friends again.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown

LyndaGee · ‎03-11-2010

It depends. If it's something major, I like to hang on to some of the anger, so that I won't let it happen again. Little things are easier to forgive: First time, I let it go. Second time, don't think so.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I read this years ago and made note of it... "Forgiveness involves a heart that cancels the debt but does not lend new money until repentance occurs".

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

I am not aware if there is or has been anyone who has held a grudge towards me.

If I become aware that I accidentally wrong someone or unintentationally hurt their feelings I apologize or provide explanation. If they don't/wouldn't accept such, it would probaby bother me but I have to accept it.

Myself, I usually don't hold hard feelings. However, If I am purposely "done wrong", betrayed, or cheated that is another story. That person would have a lot of explaining to regain/retain my trust, let alone my friendship. And those type of people usually don't attempt to do so.