Among Friends

[fourpaws56]

A dear friend passed away last September. I went to her grave site today and was upset that all the flowers from her service were still on her grave, as well as a large mound of dirt and no headstone. She is buried next to her husband and his grave is beautiful,a very large headstone as well. The family lives in the same town, I can't understand how they could neglet her grave...thoughts?

I did remove all the old flowers today and I will go back tomorrow and clean it up and place fresh flowers..

[blackhole99]

Maybe they have perpetual care as a service and they are not doing the job. I would ask the family about that, maybe they have not been back to the grave and have no idea.

[bonnielu]

You could contact the family.  Perhaps they are in the process of puting in a headstone.  

[AuntG]

Something must be happening with the family. I don't how you can tactfully inquire about it.

[fourpaws56]

I did ask a friend of the family, he said it bothers them to go there, seriously I? said. Our town is only about 1100 people, the family lives very near the cemetery, why the Dads grave so nice...

[Carmie]

I don’t know how things are done in your neck of the woods, but where i live, the cemetery is responsible for removing the old flowers and planting grass and maintaining the grave. 

They post signs telling you when the clean up will be.  So if there is anything of value....like a vase, you know when to remove it or it will be tossed out.

The family is responsible for getting and arranging to have a headstone installed.  Sometimes the headstone is already there and just needs a new engraving to add another name...family’s responsibility.

Thank you for cleaning up your friend’s grave.  I am sure she was smiling down on you for your sweet act of kindness.

[ECBG]

Perhaps the head stone is being engraved.  Maybe they "can't go there".  Everyone grieves in their own way.  It's one of the ways our brain protects us.  

I know it's very hard for you.  It certainly would be for me.

Hopefully, everyone will find piece.

[fourpaws56]

@Carmie lol, in my neck of the woods it is not done that way...it is an old cemetary from 1862.. the family is very prominent in this town...even getting a headstone engraved would not take seven months...

[StraytoStay]

Maybe the keeper of the cemetery knows why. Sadly it's possible that the family is fighting over who has to pay for it. Hope not.

[fourpaws56]

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@StraytoStaywrote:

Maybe the keeper of the cemetery knows why. Sadly it's possible that the family is fighting over who has to pay for it. Hope not.

I don't know who the keeper of the cemetery is ...it is a very tiny Catholic Church/cemetery. I will ask the Priest next time I go there..

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