Help ! Husband's Retiring in Two Months - Page 7

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

No advice @pattypeep because it hasn't happened to us yet. I do think about having to make a bigger lunch when DH retires. He eats a good sized lunch and I usually have a protein bar or fruit smoothie for lunch. Does your husband walk outside or use exercise machines? Those times will be my quiet time because DH exercises/showers which takes over an hour. Other than that, we will be together most of the time.

Thrive · ‎08-03-2011

My husband will retire in six months. Life is fleeting. I will take him with all of his faults.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

We eased into it with him cutting his days over time from 5 to 3 to 1, so it wasn't as bad when he finally said the heck with this and he was done.

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

Probably what it boils down to is if you are compatible and like being together and have a good marriage you will find a way to make it work nicely. If you don't have all that, it will be very very hard. I hear women say I don't let my husband eat that or let him do that or I am going to make him do this or that etc. etc. I have never had a man I could tell him what to do like his is a child. I would like one like that but never lucky enough to find one I could boss around. I was in the grocery store and bought some ice cream and the man in front of me said "I love ice cream but my wife won't let me eat it." I was speechless....I thought I want one of those.

Hayfield · ‎03-10-2010

Twopeas--I totally get it and I understand. My DH, who I love dearly and get along very well, married for over 40 years and I can say that this has been an adjustment for me! Sometimes I think I got a brand new puppy instead of a retiring husband! I do miss my "alone" time! I enjoyed being by myself sometimes and I hardly ever get "alone" time. There is an adjustment period for some. The main difference between my DH & myself is that while I enjoy my "alone" time, I'm more social than he is. I go out with my friends and do things with them but he rarely goes and does anything on his own, thus he's always in the house and I miss being in the house by myself. I'm lucky when he does go to the gym and I'm here for an hour alone and I cherish that time. When he retired to moved out of the area that we lived during his career to a more warmer, less cost of living area. I've been making new friends, learning to play pickleball, doing yoga for the first time, joined a book club too, so I've been busy and get out quite a bit. DH is more content to stay home, he's getting plenty of alone time in the house. He golfed when we first got married and I'm encouraging him to take it up again, I'm thinking about surprising him with golf lessons for this birthday. He told me he didn't want to play golf every day, I told him once a week would be nice!!!

I do understand women saying you're lucky you still have a husband and you are, I'm very grateful too that we're together, have our health, at least for now, and are financially comfortable but that still doesn't mean you're not nervous about him being home all the time. Talk to each other about what you expect retirement to be like. Do you each have things you like to do together, etc. DH & I do enjoy our walks and we got bikes and we both love wine! We found a little wine shop we like to go to. While he helps around the house, DH suggested we get a cleaning lady, I took him up on that! She comes every three weeks and it's been a big help. Good luck!

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

Help him find a hobby that gets him out of the house for a few hours a couple of days a week.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I don't have an answer for that; I do know that I would never feel like my husband was a burden to me or that the house was "mine" and upon retirement, he should keep in his place or start sharing housework when he never did when was working. Obviously, her husband has been the bread winner in the family, he's the one who has been working which gave her the option of retiring 10 years ago. I'd be thankful for that and thanful that at last he can finally enjoy his retirement. I do think that couples just naturally work this type of thing out if they love and value each other. I am a realist, it does take time and there is bound to be some "stepping on toes" but it works itself out. Also, most couples do more things together after retirement. They have the time and resources to do the things they talked about over the years.

newname0 · ‎06-20-2015

Since retiring at the end of July my husband has worked part-time seasonal at Target and is now taking a physical to be a part time crossing guard.

Some men don't want to retire and my husband is one of them. I have been retired for about 8 years and was looking forward to having him join me. No such luck. So I just sit here waiting for him to hang up his hat permanently and stay at home with me.

DiAnne · ‎09-22-2010

I would suggest you get a job!

moon_gazer · ‎11-20-2016

@pattypeep wrote:
I've been retired for 10 years and love being home and taking care of the house and yard. I knew dh would be retiring next and honestly, I am really scared. I love my quiet time and he talks non-stop when he's home. He doesn't pick up after himself. He never has helped with housework. His household "job" in the 25 years we've been married is mowing the grass except when we hire it out. I love him, I really do, but can someone give me some advice on how to adjust to this change?

@pattypeep

Goodness, your husband could be mine! I retired about 7 yrs. before my husband and believe me, I was dreading the day that he retired. I, too, loved my alone time and just doing things in the order that I wish to do them. My husband disrupted my neat little world. He has no hobbies or friends, so he drives me nuts when I am going about my day telling me that "there's a better way to do that". I used to hate going to the grocery store, but, now I love it because it gives me a much needed break from him!