Have you ever reached out for help and been refuse... - Page 4

77yangya · ‎06-21-2011

I don't thing the poster that began this thread was referring to any charity.

In times long past, Biblical times, people that were financially doing well and had plenty, it was a common thing that they contribute to a "fund" for the poor. This included widows or women with children and no husband because he died or someone that just fell on hard times, but I don't think it was money that was given. It was in the form of necessities of life. In those days women were second class citizens and I might add that being a woman, I encountered prejudice in my life. They realized that these people were hurting and it was customary to help. I don't see why this can't happen today.

Now, I dont think it's fair to arbitrarily take money from one's paycheck. No funds should be diverted anywhere without that person's permission. I'm just saying that folks that are well set financially, hopefully feel enough empathy to help those that are the working poor and I WAS that at a time in my life.

The poster simply means that a person is in dire straights and in need of some emotional support because something terrible happened to them and they're emotionally in turmoil. This kind of support is tremendously helpful. It gives the recipient the courage to face the issue better, that's all. I dont think they're referring to one asking to help shovel snow or some kind of task and that's NOT discounting these at all. We have an elderly lady living juxtpose to our home. She's an octogenarian and can't remove snow at all. I helped her with other things but another person helps with the snow removal. She has a man come over to help her. She lost her son a year ago. I think she's a lovely person and I watch her home to make sure no one tries to hurt her or approach the house to porch pirate. I don't want to push myself on her. Mostly, people feel oh, they helped me now I musy repay. If I do ANYthing for anyone. I do NOT want recompense. It's free. I give, it's free, to anyone. We should try to put ourselves in others' shoes. I also feel that it's not right that I let opportunities slip by that I could've helped someone in the past too.

77yangya · ‎06-21-2011

@CAcableGirl2 wrote:
@77yangya I'm so sorry that you were treated that way. That's awful for a sister to do that to another sister.

You have the right mindset regarding this, better to let go of the disappointment and anger because unfortunately, in cases like these, you are the only one that is hurting and the others have moved along and continue to be rude and non-supportive.

Just because they are "family" doesn't mean that they will be there for you in your time of need.

Thank you...XO

patbz · ‎03-10-2010

I worked for the Federal Govt most of my career and clearly remember the yearly pressure to donate to United Way, especially during the 90s ( I never did ).

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

Thanks to all who have responded.

It's not about money or anything personal it is a question about asking for help.

I think that most people are very hesitant to ask for help when needed and it is like a slap in the face to be refused. Not the obvious "takers" in our life!

Some of the answers posted exemplify the reason for the original question. Thanks again!

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

Back in the eighties I worked in the office for a major airline. All the office workers were members of the Teamsters union. We were told we would be having a quarter a week come out of our paychecks for The United Way.

software · ‎06-08-2016

I can't recall asking anyone for help,except maybe for a small favor.

I'm usually the one people ask for help.

Sometimes I help, sometimes I don't.

I've quit helping people in constant need.

As far as charities, there are very few that actually help. Most are in the business of fundraising, not helping. I knew a few good ones but they are rare.

silkyk · ‎03-03-2011

Of all the people who say "call me if you need ANYTHING" (lots of those) you will be astounded to find out who really means it and who is just blowing wind. And the ones who do help are usually a surprise. A really nice surprise.

Xivambala · ‎07-26-2019

@Peaches McPhee

That would have been fine. In my case, these people were plain rude and made no attempt to help with any referrals. Some times, even kindness can go a long way.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@haddon9 wrote:
For those of you who are refering to that national charity I believe it was The United Way....yes I was also told that I needed to give through a regular donation taken automatically out of my pay each week.

I really never liked being told how I should donate my money and though I rarely hear of them now, I just Googled the name and they are still around.

My husband worked for a company that TRIED that. It didn't go over well.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Zhills wrote:
How did you handle/accept it? Forgive? Forget?

@Zhills Well, depends on if it is a stupid request to begin with, if it is a reasonable request of someone who should be helping you, or if it is a request asking too much of a friend, or if it is someone who shouldn't be expected to help you or respond to that request.

And others just have a right to say "no" don't they? Don't you? That about covers it.

And holding a grudge will be harder on you than them, so consider that aspect.