Among Friends

[haddon9]

For those of you who are refering to that national charity I believe it was The United Way....yes I was also told that I needed to give through a regular donation taken automatically out of my pay each week. 

I really never liked being told how I should donate my money and though I rarely hear of them now, I just Googled the name and they are still around.

[Deb665]

@Zhills  Years ago my mother was suffering with both cancer and dementia.  My sister and I both moved home to help my dad with her care.  My dad was retired and spent his days trying to take care of my mom, while we worked full time and tried to take care of her at night and on the weekends.  As you can imagine we all had our hands full!

My mother's cousin lived a couple of blocks away.  Mother and her cousin were raised more like sisters.  She was retired,  single and had no children.  My sister asked this cousin if she would come sit with my mom one afternoon a week for a few hours to give my dad a chance to get away.  She shrugged, said no she wasn't going to do that and walked away.

No, I never forgot or forgave how cold and heartless she was. 

[Group 5 minus 1]

@Zhills : Need lots more info. What are you talking about? Is this personal? Is this governmental?

[CAcableGirl2]

@77yangya  I'm so sorry that you were treated that way.  That's awful for a sister to do that to another sister.  

You have the right mindset regarding this, better to let go of the disappointment and anger because unfortunately, in cases like these, you are the only one that is hurting and the others have moved along and continue to be rude and non-supportive.

Just because they are "family" doesn't mean that they will be there for you in your time of need. 

[Still Raining]

All of our interactions are based on trust and reciprocity.  If there is a mismatch of expectations, we have hurt feelings.

We need to ask if we asked too much or if they gave to little.  Could be either.  Or perhaps the time was just not right.

Feedback is a good thing.

[NicksmomESQ]

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@Xivambala wrote:

@NicksmomESQ 

I think we are talking about the same charity. You were hit with a double whammy being forced to run a fundraising event to boot! In some companies I worked for, there were group leaders/coordinators charged with the responsibilities to "prod" people to contribute. 

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@Xivambala  Yes, I'm sure we are speaking about the same charity.Once they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar many employers stop forcing employees to contribute. 

[GoneButNotForgotten]

It's hard to forget.

[Sweetbay magnolia]

Yes.  Emotionally, that is tough.  What I have learned by rejection is greater self-sufficiency, and that my own coping mechanisms are there.  

Forgive?  Maybe.  Forget?  No.  It's situational.

[Peaches McPhee]

All this talk about the United Way has me puzzled.  Our local branch does not give help to people directly; instead it partially funds other organizations that do.  So, our UW would not directly give services or money to people asking, if they got a phone call inquiry, they would refer you to one of its partner agencies. 

Is this not the way it works elsewhere? 

[Deree]

I'm not one to ask people for help if I can help it and I can't remember the last time if I ever did.  But hypothetically speaking, it would depend on the type of request and to whom I made the request as to how I would feel if my request was rejected.  If I asked for money from a friend or family member I would definitely understand why my request was denied.  If I asked if someone could drive me to an important medical appointment and I knew they had a car and were available, and that request was denied, I'm sure I'd feel badly, even angry, and I would probably remember it for the next time.

As far as the conversation about UW, yes that was a big thing in the 1990s by employers. I'm sure they got something out of pushing donations. I refused to contribute and head the "theft-raiser" when asked because it is no one's right to decide which charities I contribute to.  I had it deducted from my bonus at the end of the year. I then quit which left my employer in a difficult situation as they had invested a lot of time and training with me.