Have a dilemma - need advice. - Page 4

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

They are taking advantage of you.The cleaning lady should never have brought anyone into your home without asking you first. Tell her that you will no longer be paying her daughter that you did in the past because it was a rare occurrence.

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

I'd just clean my own house then I wouldn't have a dilemma to straighten out.

"Pure Michigan"

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

I feel really out of it.

The person who cleans for me every week has done so for > 10 years, she also cat sits for us when needed. We know each other very well.

She is a single mom. For years her son came with her during the summer school vacation. It NEVER occurred to me to pay extra because she brought him, my thought was that it was easier and saved her money not to hire a sitter for him. He sat and read, or played with our doggies. However, even if he had helped with the cleaning, I wouldn't have thought to pay him.

Just FYI we pay her separately and at a different rate for cat care. In both cases we pay her more than her going rate.

But pay someone I did not contract with? I don't see it.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras

SisterGoldenHair · ‎12-09-2016

@Lilysmom wrote:
@Boehm Collector, your cleaner would rather get $75 a week than lose her job. I would just leave the $75 and say nothing. If the daughter doesn't like that, she can stop coming. LM

@Boehm CollectorI agree with @Lilysmom 100%. Just say nothing and pay the $75.00. Stay strong my dear friend

I doubt they will say anything. If they do, just explain that you can't pay that much. But you hope her daughter can use the money that you gave her will help with school supplies.

SisterGoldenHair · ‎12-09-2016

@chrystaltree wrote:
I don't why you have given the kid $30 simply because she came with her mother. I don't get it. I'm am assuming that she didn't do anything that her mother....who you pay....wasn't going to do. Of course, she comes 3 times a week. You're the free money lady...lol The girl isn't dumb...lol Just stop giving away $30 for nothing. Or offer to pay her for work that was separated and distinct from what her mother would have done for her $75. Like organize closets or something like that.

@chrystaltree @Boehm Collectoris a kind woman and I know she did this out of kindness.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@ID2 wrote:
I'd just clean my own house then I wouldn't have a dilemma to straighten out.

Some people do need help.

I would have to clean , before a maid comes.

I would not want someone cleaning my house.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

The mother can pay the daughter with her $75. Be straightforward with the mother. I started paying your daughter, found it's become too expensive and I can no longer pay her.

Newgate · ‎09-05-2014

I hired a cleaning lady in January of this year! After a few weeks she asked me if she could bring a helper along so she could get done faster! I asked her if I was going to have to pay her also and she said "oh no I will pay her"!

She now brings the helper and I enjoy having them done and gone faster!

I do so enjoy having someone else clean my house! I did my own cleaning for over 50 years!!

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

Im going thru the same dilemma but with my hairdresser of 7 years. I created this from being "generous" with tipping. 6 years ago her spouse died unexpectedly & she had 2 kids (11&13) and her prices were extremely reasonable considering what I paid in NJ.

For 6 foils, color & cut $75 I tipped her $20.

At my last appt. it was $95 she said she had to raise her prices since her clientele is dwindling & she's only working 2.5 days/week because rent is lower. so now I'm not only shocked with such a big price increase I'm feeling bad I am not tipping her as well.

Today I got a haircut last time it was $20 today it was $28😳 I did not tip her.

Sometimes a good deed turns into a dilemma as far as daughter of your cleaning lady - you may just have to tell her (like I will do w/hairdresser) it's not in the budget. I'm sure you did it as a nice gesture since she helped once in awhile & student.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Boehm Collector, I disagree with those who say you should tell her that you can't afford it. You're her employer, and your finances or lack thereof are not her business. And they're beside the point. You did set a precedent, but it's not the arrangement the two of you had initially agreed to, so you're not stuck with it.

I would start out by nicely asking her how often she plans to bring her daughter, so she'll realize that you're noticing and that it's an issue.. Then I would tell her that it's okay if her daughter still wants to come, and that I was happy to give her a little money the first few times, "but I'm no longer prepared to do that". I would be nice about it, but firm. And I wouldn't get into what I can and cannot afford, I wouldn't offer her a raise, none of that. I would concentrate on getting things back on track the way they were agreed to at the beginning.

It would bother me, quite honestly, if my housekeeper brought anyone with her and even more so if she then let them accept money. I had a housekeeper once who had a young son. Sometimes she brought him during school vacations, but each and every time she asked me if it would be okay. She brought snacks and things for him to do, and he sat quietly in my den and watched TV or played games. She was the best housekeeper I ever had, he was a good kid, and I really appreciated the fact that she never once assumed it was okay to bring him without checking with me first.

I think a relationship like this is about communication and respect, with both of those things going both ways.