Among Friends

[freakygirl]

yes

still haven't 😕

[shaggygirl]

Yes and I haven't.

[Stormygirl]

@RinaRina I want to give you a giant cyber hug. As my illness progresses, Im getting older and find myself perhaps in my final months I am doing alot of reflection. I have hurt a few people in my tragic life and have cried and beat myself up more then any other human could possibly do to me. No physuical hurts but I am sure emotional and far less done to me as a red person. I have apologized to each of them and am working on forgiving myself finally. We are human with flaws, me included and I sinserely want you to forgive yourself. You are a beautiful person ya know. I also have to work on forgiving those who drug me under a car for 2 miles merely for the color of my skin........Im working on that sort of PTSD. I didnt know it all could come back in this time and is why I dont post much now. I have some work to do...xoxoxoxoxoxo Love you..Stormy

[CareBears]

@Stormygirl Cyber Hugs to you also, I am speechless after reading your post, you too are a beautiful person!

[tends2dogs]

---

@RinaRina wrote:

That years later, you still couldn't forgive yourself?

How did you finally forgive yourself?

---

Yes, I have.  When I learned that someone MUCH bigger than me had already forgiven me and I accepted that forgiveness, I was able to forgive myself.  We are all only human beings. We all struggle, fail, and fall during our lifetimes.  We can not do this ourselves, no matter how hard we try.

I hope you can reconcile this and have peace.  It is possible.

[Kat 213]

@RinaRina, you have to make the decision to move on and forgive yourself.  You can't go back in time and change your words or actions.

@Stormygirl, still sending prayers for you!

[judEve]

@RinaRina

   Yes I have!  I'm like housecat as even though I know it does no good, won't change it, is hurtful and destructive to my mental and physical health I often think of my past mistakes and poor judgements in behavior!  I don't just sit around running old tapes of my errors but simple things bring back the memories of my past mistakes such as a TV show or commercial, a song, storyline in a book, the news etc... and I can't help but thinking of how terrible I feel about that particular mistake!  To answer your question RinaRina I haven't gotten over the majority of my mistakes.  What I do when I'm thinking about one and it's hurtful, makes me sad, disappointed in myself etc... I hum or blurt out some tune, not necessarily a real song just "la la la la" and for some reason that seems to stop the train of thought.  If I'm around other people I just sing the tune inside my head. Crazy I know but it helps me get out of the moment, of course it hasn't/doesn't solve the underlying issue of my inability to forgive myself and or let go but it gets me through the moment.

    I've worked through terrible trauma in my life with the help of a great counselor ( after trying a few ) and was able to let a major traumatic event that followed me daily for over 10 yrs, (PTSD) go, but when it comes to mistakes they continue to follow me.  I know about treating myself with the same love, compassion, forgiveness etc that I would give to a friend or loved one but can't seem to apply it to myself when it comes to my mistakes.  I'm not talking about simple things like washing a new sweater on hot and ruining it, or forgetting to pay a bill and getting a late fee, I'm talking about ones where I think I hurt someone's feelings, or am very ashamed and or embarrassed about something I did.

   So that's my answer to your question.  Thank you for bringing attention to this topic, hopefully someone will read something that might help them let go because of it!  And as always thank you for allowing me to share.

  j.

[Kitlynn]

Everyone makes mistakes in their life it is called living. But the best way to fix that mistake is to forgive yourself and get on with living. Do the best you can to be a good decent person and make the most out of the life you have been given. Every day that you spend worrying about what you should have, would have or could have done is just wasting another precious day of life and it is short so make the most of it. Let old baggage go and move on from it.

[esmerelda]

@RinaRinaMy first instinct is to say was there another person involved, did they forgive you, and that should be all you need.

But as I think of my own experiences, I know that isn't a good answer.  There are mistakes I have made for which I have been forgiven (by those affected) which still make me cringe when I think of them.  I don't think of them often, only when something like this comes up, or someone mentions something similar to what I experienced.

To answer your question...strive to do better.  Make amends where you can.  Vow to be a better person.

And be well.

[PamfromCT]

I think everyone who has posted here is a very good person.  You see, truly destructive people have no conscience and never spend any time or energy lamenting what they have done or what they have failed to do.  I guess the only thing to do is to learn from our mistakes and continue on.  And try to remember all you have done right.  

@stormygirl, I admire you so for your attitude toward anyone who has hurt you for the color of your skin.  They are people to be pitied, who are so consumed by hate.  You have a beautiful spirit.  It hurts a lot to be the hate - for the color of your skin, your religion, your national background, etc.  You have turned all this hate around, as you are a loving person.  I do have a drop or two of Native American blood, as people in my mother's family lived in Canada for a long time before coming to the U.S.  I am proud of this.