Among Friends

[RinaRina]

That years later, you still couldn't forgive yourself?

How did you finally forgive yourself?

[CareBears]

@RinaRina I don't know if I would call my actions mistakes, mine were life lessons that at the time the indidents happened I felt it was the only choice to make, and to this day I still feel I made the right choice for that time in my life,  now that I am older and supposedly wiser would I have made different choices, YES without a doubt, but I am a different person now, I see the world in a whole different manner now, and I am really working hard on not forgetting the past but moving toward my future, I cannot change the past, but I can aspire to be "The Better Me", each and every day!

[SXMGirl]

I think most people who have lived a full life have either done things or said things that they regret and wish they could take back.  What I think is more important is that we learn from these regrets and turn our lives around by doing better.  You cannot take back words or even make actions better, but you can choose to not do them or say them again.  I try to live by that.

[sweetee2]

What I would tell myself is whether it was intentional  or not. Mistake is the key word. That in itself tells you how to forgive your self.

[CareBears]

This sums it up nicely this was posted on the Forum just this morning:

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@RinaRinaI have my faith, which can't be discussed here, that I am forgiven.

Aside from that, some things don't bear thinking about.

[reiki604]

aside from torture or murder, i cant think of anything that would be unforgivable. everything that happens to us can be a learning experience if we allow it to be. 

[Q4u]

---

@CareBears wrote:

This sums it up nicely this was posted on the Forum just this morning:

---

This is the key!  Learn from it and depending on the action, never allow yourself to do it again....Let it make you better and then self-forgiveness is a natural event....

[chrystaltree]

I've never done anything that rises to OP's level.  But like everyone, I've done or said things that I came to regret.  Of course, it depends on what she did or said but apologizing is the first step to self forgiveness.  If it's too late for that or if an apology isn't the right course to take;  you just have to accept that you made a mistake and put it behind you and move on.  Sometimes the thing was so hurtful that you cannot forgive yourself but you have to accept it, try to do better in the future and move on.  Beating yourself up over something that you can't change accomplishes nothing. 

[house_cat]

I've never done anything intentionally "bad", and I'm assuming you haven't either, OP.  However, I can recall just about every time in my life that I did or said something inconsiderate, hurting someone's feelings.  I can probably count the times this has happned on the fingers of one hand, but it bugs me to this day.  Anyone reasonable would say, "Drop it. You didn't intend to hurt someone's feelings. It was a long time ago and chances are they don't even remember it." Still, I think of those things too often and I even wonder how many times I did it and didn't even know it!  

This is unreasonable thinking and my advice to you would be to chalk it up as a learning experience, apologize if necessary and move on.  Maybe someday I'll be able to do that, too.