Among Friends

[tends2dogs]

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@Bonanzajellybean wrote:

I did something terrible-not illegal, but went against everything I thought I stood for.  It shook me to the core when I realized what I had done because during this time I was in denial.   I paid for it in many ways but I still shudder every time I think about it.  

I have to remind myself that at the time it was a way of dealing with other tragedy and not to keep punishing myself. I paid dearly but learned a lot about not ever saying I would never do that or not judging those I would have before.  It was a reminder to me of my frailty and that of others and in a way feeling that pain has made me a better person.

I will  always have to deal on some level with my past but it doesn't define me. I regret my mistakes but I have learned to love myself and  not hold onto the belief that I can never have  or deserve any good thing in my life because of my past. 

From a spiritual standpoint, I try to hold onto the fact that God forgave me the first time I asked and when I bring it up again it's like I hear "it's enough". 

I hope you find peace. Just the fact that you're hear sharing this with us shows grief and contrition for whatever happened.  You can't change the past but you will know in your heart if there is anything you need to do to deal with whatever wrong it is. Stay encouraged!  

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@GenXmuse  I don't know how to put a certain section of your post in bold, but if I could it would be the paragraph that begins "From a spiritual standpoint.......  This is a great way of putting it and it is exactly what I believe also.  We can only say so much here, but it is finished work, price paid, nothing we can do but accept this gift "once", and go on with life and the do the best we can as forgiven humans from THAT point on.

Great post!

[Vickiv]

A few years ago I asked someone very close to me. How can I ever forgive myself of the mistake I made 40 years ago. I have said I'm sorry many times. This person said to me. It's not up to you to forgive yourself it is the man above will forgive you. I finally made peace with myself. Changed me.