Among Friends

[hckynut]

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@RinaRina wrote:

That years later, you still couldn't forgive yourself?

How did you finally forgive yourself?

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Forgiving and forgetting are different animals. I always forgive myself as that is a part of living life and obtaining more real life experiences. I learned and live my life via real life experiences, and with that comes making some very bad choices.

I gain nothing by not forgiving myself for my lack of experience. That however does in no way say I will forget and also remember not to make the same miscalculations again. For myself I choose not to drag myself down with things I cannot change, and what happened in my past? Cannot be changed.

hckynut(john)

[violann]

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@reiki604 wrote:

aside from torture or murder, i cant think of anything that would be unforgivable. everything that happens to us can be a learning experience if we allow it to be. 

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I agree. No one was hurt by my mistake besdes me, and it caused me to spend the rest of my life in a helping profession.

When you are serving others, it is more allowable for yourself to forgive your previous failings.

[sunshower]

Yes,horrible mistake that changed my whole life.No,cant forgive my stupidity.

[sunshine45]

yes, of course i have.....

BUT, i dont think you have to necessarily forgive yourself.

it is something i will never forget, but i have moved on, matured, and learned from it.

[GenXmuse]

I did something terrible-not illegal, but went against everything I thought I stood for.  It shook me to the core when I realized what I had done because during this time I was in denial.   I paid for it in many ways but I still shudder every time I think about it.  

I have to remind myself that at the time it was a way of dealing with other tragedy and not to keep punishing myself. I paid dearly but learned a lot about not ever saying I would never do that or not judging those I would have before.  It was a reminder to me of my frailty and that of others and in a way feeling that pain has made me a better person.

I will  always have to deal on some level with my past but it doesn't define me. I regret my mistakes but I have learned to love myself and  not hold onto the belief that I can never have  or deserve any good thing in my life because of my past. 

From a spiritual standpoint, I try to hold onto the fact that God forgave me the first time I asked and when I bring it up again it's like I hear "it's enough". 

I hope you find peace. Just the fact that you're hear sharing this with us shows grief and contrition for whatever happened.  You can't change the past but you will know in your heart if there is anything you need to do to deal with whatever wrong it is. Stay encouraged!  

[libbyannE]

Yes. I said something thoughtlessly that conveyed the wrong impression because I did not take time to stop and think about what I was trying to say. No excuse. It hurt someone I loved very much, and there was no taking it back. I tried to explain, but the damage was done. There is no way to excuse my carelessness. I do not forgive myself for hurting one of the most special people in my life. I can only hope I learned a lesson, but it was at such a cost....

[blackhole99]

When I was a kid maybe 10 or 11, I said something to my grandmother that made her gasp and cry. I knew immediately that this comment and that moment would stay with me forever and I was right.

[LadyAlice]

StormyGirl123:   Your message was deeply moving.  I am so sorry to hear about your suffering and am praying for you.  Think kindly of yourself and know that you are not alone.  You did not do anything that merits your situation.  Many of us have regrets, but at least we have a conscience.  It remains a mystery to me as to why some people have to suffer so much.  As the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz was told, it's not how much you love, but how much you are loved by others.  I hope that all the good wishes from the QVC community form a circle of love around your heart.  You are a very brave person and a special one to so many of us.  God bless you, LadyAlice

[Stormygirl]

@LadyAlice Big hugs to you......tears came to my eyes reading your kind words and I really do appreciate this QVC community altho I am too weak to be here as much. I think when we reach that near time (at least for me) I have had alot of reflection and going over my life. I realized as an orphan, having been through some of the worst of humanity that there are still so many good people out there. My epiphony was that although I couldnt save myself from great harm or what happened to me I also cant carry the shame of feeling lesser anymore. But I know even through suffering if I can make a person smile, give a kind word......maybe I have done something positive to leave behind as a wee legacy. I feel the love here and thank you so much. Big Hugs xoxoxoxoxo Stormy 

[Stormygirl]

@LadyAlice I think I am finally leaving that angry young red homeless kid eating out of garrbage cans behind now. That is a big relief to me to let go of that angry kid. (smiles)