Has anyone been/known a foster parent?

scatcat · ‎03-15-2010

Have any of you ever been or known a foster parent? We are just starting to research doing this and I'd love your feedback. TIA

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

I had a co-worker who was divorced and had a son and she had 3 foster children. Two were sisters who were developmentally challenged. They were not a problem except they required a lot of patience. When they turned 18, CPS dropped them like a hot potato. I often wonder what happened to them. It would be difficult to not want to care for them forever in which case they could become a huge burden.

She also had a boy foster who WAS a problem. He was darling in appearance, blonde with big blue eyes and freckles named Bobby. His mother was a prostitute drug addict who sold Bobby, then pre-school age, into prostitution for drug money. As an adolescent he was very angry and constantly in trouble at school, throwing furniture and cursing teachers. As he grew, he became dangerous. He was institutionalized several times and saw a psychiatrist during his entire time with his foster family. I wondered if it was wise to have him in the same household as the girls. I don't know what became of him except it was scary to think of him being foisted on society as he turned 18. He would now be in his 30s.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

mysterylady · ‎03-16-2010

My aunt and uncle had many foster children, some for brief times. I believe it was more that 30. Three were siblings, two girls and a boy fostered at elementary ages. The boy never adjusted and went back to live with his parents even though there were problems. The girls stayed and became just like daughters. There were two natural sons in the family. They were wonderful after my uncle died. They are now in their 60s and very nuch her daughters - she'll be 104 years old in Sept. It can be a wonderful experience for a family.

fthunt · ‎12-24-2010

Yes, I was raised with 7 foster childern starting with my age of 2. If I could sit and talk with you over a cup of coffee I could enlighten you about many issues - good and not so good. Information would be much too personal for this site - but..............I suggest you study this matter with professionals before you make your final decision to go forward. The best of luck to you.

qvcfreak · ‎03-10-2010

A couple at church fostered children for many years, when the kids became teenagers they adopted them. They have around 5 biological kids and they are great. They teach them to play guitar and all sing in the choir. The Father has been with the choir many years and the mom teaches CCE. They are a very nice beautiful family.

scatcat · ‎03-15-2010

Thank you all for responding. The process here takes 4-6 months, so it's not an overnight decision. They also stress that the main goal is to reunite the children with their biological parents. We are not necessarily looking to adopt. I have a friend I have lost touch with that fostered a little boy for years, who was eventually reunited with his birth parents. He would have been much better off with his foster parents, not sure how he is now. i am leaving for the weekend, so if anyone else responds (thank you) but I can"t respond until Sunday or Monday. TIA

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

My MIL fostered for many years. She only fostered infants & toddlers.

The last two were siblings which she later adopted. They are now in their 30's & both thriving w/families of their own.

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

Not a foster, but I do have a family member who is serving as a guardian ad litem.

It is less of a commitment, obviously, but still helps children in the system.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

No personal experience, but have heard enough to know a couple of things I think are very important to consider before making a final decision.

First, it takes someone very special to do this well, and for the right reasons. It has become a way for some people to make money. Foster kids in many states come with money, food stamps, other services they need etc, and some people do it as cheaply as they can, and manage to pocket the money that comes with it. The kids don't come with nearly enough money to do it well and right, and will cost your family money if you really want to do it right and well.

The goal is to reunite kids with family so getting too attached is really hard for some people to deal with when the system places the kids back with their family, especially when it is obvious to everyone but children's services that the situation isn't good.

Many of these children come with deep problems, and while some help is offered through the system for counseling etc. they can be very difficult and act out in ways that can destroy a home or the people in it. It doesn't happen in all or even most cases, but one has to be willing to understand the risk they are taking bringing some of these kids, who through no fault of their own have such problems, into their home.

I don't mean to be totally negative or discouraging, but I think some people go into this with rose colored glasses, thinking they can help save the world. Sometimes they do, and thank God for those who step up in this capacity to make a difference in the world. Just be very aware of all the possibilities.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

Taking foster kids in is big business for people in my rural area. I see people with 3 or 4 small children in tow and it's very obvious they are not their own. I must say the kids are well behaved and look well kept, but I wonder how much love and personal attention these kids are getting. That being said, I think the most important thing is that the kids are safe and taken care of physically.