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Honored Contributor
Posts: 27,279
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

 

 

Nobody needs flowers or stuff.  SEND MONEY through paypal or the bank.  A lot.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,718
Registered: ‎01-04-2014

I would ask your son and DIL what they need. Stress that you intend to help however you can, and you want to insure it's in a way they would like.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,206
Registered: ‎08-02-2010

@qvc chick Hmmmm.  What causes a uterine infection

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,877
Registered: ‎07-24-2013

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

[ Edited ]

I would give them money to use as they see fit. They may just want to rely on take-out meals for a while. they are not yet feeding growing children. My son and DIL get the meal kits now, Home Express or something like that. They started with the meal kits when my twin grandbabies came home from the NICU.

 

My son comes home from work and has to do the prep work and cook the meals. i had to bite my tongue when i stayed with them for 3 weeks a few months ago. He painstakingly read the cards and followed the steps.  So much prep work and instructions.  i did cook many meals for them. but they don't like leftovers. so i ate the leftovers and cooked other meals or they had take-out.

 

But i'm looking at thiswith years of food prep behind me.  At one time i took me 90 minutes to put together mac&cheese!   It's a convenience thing and she doesnt cook, she works full-time (from home) and babies at almost 12 mo.  eat bits of the food.  Last nite they had burgers from take out.  Babies enjoyed fries and bites of cheeseburgers.    i just stay out of it!

 

ed: typos

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,738
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

@qvc chick- Meal prep meals are a good idea. Congrats on your new grandchild!

 

New babies tire both parents out and nobody is going to want to cook especially since the DIL will be recovering.

 

Also, I know my best friend would assist if I was in hospital and I would do the same.  People do step up to the plate and help when needed.  It's not a matter of pawning off a baby.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,909
Registered: ‎01-14-2017

 

Money is not as useful as some people think when a person is going through a tough non-financial crisis, unless the person is short of cash generally.  Because if you give money instead of fully prepared meals (or needed services, or something beautiful to look at), you still need to figure out where to get the meal, what meal to buy, and make needed arrangements.  In my experience, when I am going through a very difficult situation, I am happy to have all such things taken care of for me.  I will eat whatever is put in front of me and be grateful, unless it is a hot pepper (allergies) or heavily spiced meal.  So make sure to order meals without known allergens or heavy spices.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 700
Registered: ‎06-08-2021

I think I'd feel a certain way not getting to take care of my granddaughter, instead of a friend. That seems odd to me, being that you are family.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,868
Registered: ‎07-10-2011

@qvc chick  has'nt said how close she lives to her family.  Concerning the best friend taking care of the baby, I'm sure the couple did not ask her, she volunteered. That's what best friends do.

 

I would not give money especially if the couple do not need it. I agree with the meals .

 

And what's the husband doing at the hospital? That's the dumbest question I've heard in a long time.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,690
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Prepared meals sound perfect but check with the husband first.  How much can the fridge or freezer hold, what type of meals.  Practical stuff.  It's possible that neighbors and friends have been taking food to him.  It's a tough situation.  It would be great if you could stay with your son to give him some support , spend time withe baby, give the best friend a break.  

Valued Contributor
Posts: 884
Registered: ‎06-14-2011

For all those suggesting a "meal prep service" be mindful of what the couple might actually eat.  Not everyone is easy to feed, and likes anything put in front of them.  And some of those meals have some weird stuff.  Nothing I'd eat for sure.   If you know their food preferences, then perhaps gift cards to their favorite take out places, or local restaurants that you can have meals made, maybe if you are close put together some meals to freeze that they could easily reheat.  I agree some of those services have almost "chef" level cooking skills required.  They make it look so easy on TV but reality is something else.  Also sometimes as people have mentioned with even QVC's food items they get delivered and they are no good, having thawed in the journey.  So now they just have a box of spoiled food they need to dispose of or try to get a refund on.  After each birth of my grandkids I gave my daughter a bunch of gift cards to different take out places and she loved it.  Her husband could easily order and pick up food.  I also would help her with the laundry and cleaning days.  stoping in for just a couple of hours and then leaving so she still had her time.  Just a thought.  I also picked up groceries for her.  Once on her feet she was good to go.  But it helped alot without crowding her space, forcing her to eat what I thought would be good and she still felt like she was handling her household.