Among Friends

[chrystaltree]

I hate having houseguests and now that my nephew's little family is living here with us, I'm happy that the houseguest thing is off the table.  We do have a queen size sleep sofa on the livingroom but that is only for my little grandchildren when they sleep over.  I don't like having my home used like hotel/restaurant.  I don't like changing my normal routine, cooking for guests, talking when I don't feel like talking, listening to chatter when I'm not in the mood, other people driving my car.  I do love seeing friends and family from out of town, I just don't want them staying in my house.  Conversely, I don't like staying in other people's homes.  I hate being a houseguest.  

[sarahpanda]

I'm not a fan of house guests either...to many different personalities sharing in the most intimate/personal  times of one's life....pass.

[LindaSal]

Nope, I do not like houseguests.  The only people welcome anytime in my home would be my adult children and their SO's.  I have never liked cleaning up after other people or having my routine dismantled.  Call me selfish but I don't care, I don't burden others with my staying at their house so you are not staying at mine.   

DH let a friend stay with us  many years back without discussing it with me first.  I was so PO'd, he paid a price for that one.   The guy was a total pig, eating out of cereal boxes with his hands, crumbs everywhere.........even in the sheets when I changed the bed after he left!!!   Uuggh!!  I get mad just thinking about it.

[SoCal Bred]

My in-laws live on the east coast, we last visited them in 2015.  Hubby's sister is always extending an invite to stay with her and her significant other if we would come out to visit, I would much rather stay at a hotel and meet up with his siblings at their convenience, hubby doesn't get it and get's upset because I don't want to stay at his sister's place, he doesn't understand that she is being polite and courteous and it really is an inconvenience that I think women only understand.  Meanwhile, I know he would like to visit with his family again soon, but I know it will lead to arguments about where to stay.

I, myself do not care for house quests, and have to pray that whenever hubby talks to one of his (3) sisters that he doesn't extend an invite for them and their spouses to come visit us because they would take up that offer in a heartbeat.  I love them dearly but just the thought brings shudders.

[kaydee50]

In the 43 years we've been married I can count on one hand how many times we've had people stay over at our home and then not more than for a night or 2.  

I do not like to be guests in others homes and I do not like to be the host in my own.

[teganslaw]

I like when my sister from out of town visits and stays with me for several days. I don't get to see her often, so we always have a good time. 

Also I've had a couple friends stay with me for a few days. They live in another state, and since I don't see them much, I enjoy their visits. 

[Flopsy]

Thanks for posting this, makes me feel I'm not alone in this.  We are going to stay with our daughter and partner next week.  It was good when she had her own place but now they have a home together and I feel like a guest rather than family.  Obviously they have their "ways" but these have surfaced since her partner came along.  I get it but honestly would rather stay at home but now my daughter visits but he never comes to us as he likes his home.  It's a nine hour drive so we tend to stay for a week.  If we stayed in a hotel I know it would upset her.

We did Christmas with them last year but have decided to stay home this year.  Don't think that's going to go well with our daughter but his family all live near and I don't feel like cooking a big meal again for everyone.  We are renting an apartment but next year we are moving to our new home which will have plenty of space.  I'm ok with guests and love our daughter to visit anytime. 

As for sightseeing, we have our own car and go out for breaks.  Can't imagine having guests every again who do not have transport.  Did that along time ago and felt like a tour guide not to mention the cost.  

Try to keep calm, vent in a private place and above all, not too much alcohol lol.

[bikerbabe]

Love it depending on who it is.

[Group 5 minus 1]

How about you speak up and ask for help?

[Othereeeen]

I am in the "NO I don't care for house guests nor do I want to be one."

I think the isolation of Covid has exacerbated these feelings.

People developed thier own personal routines, became more house-centric and used to thier own ways, and even though we now WANT to see and be with others again ( in some cases!!!) it's hard to give up that feeling of safety in our own little nests!!!

If you're single  and introverted to begin with, the isolation may have really intensified these feelings.

And stories of random acts of extreme violence in places formerly thought of as "safe" ( grocery stores (getting executed in  aisle 6 when you go to buy a loaf of bread)..., schools, churches, flea markets, outdoor concerts, parades) adds to that feeling of safety at home. 

All these random acts happened in places where "we thought it could never happen here" and subconciously intensifies the feeling of safety of home.

So we can visit new places or family (  and stay in a hotel), go on a cruise ( Our own cabin)...go RVing (personal home on wheels) or go to a theme park and mill around with thousands to get our people/family fix, yet return to our own hotel rooms to get away from it.

BUT....there's STILL no place like home.

And home today has become the sanctuary where hopefully one feels safe.

Just think....BEFORE Covid people would write they couldn't stand a family visit for Thanksgiving meal for a few HOURS!!!!!  After the first fifteen minutes of niceties, stress goes up up up and before long, you're longing for MOST of them to LEAVE!!!!

DAYS of visitors or me being the visitee?

No thanks.