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08-15-2016 09:09 PM
@Moonchilde...Exactly. Well stated. I was sitting in the waiting area of a restaurant recently waiting for a to-go order. One of the wait staff said, "Have you been helped Mama?". I thought it was cute. I certainly took no offense.
08-15-2016 09:09 PM
There was a butcher who used to call me doll-face. I didn't like that but never called him on it. If people are being friendly and reasonably attentive, I don't mind being called "hon" or even sweetie.
It beats the B word.
08-15-2016 09:11 PM
I guess that wouldn' t bother me at all. It is not the way I address people, but that
is perfectly fine with me.
The other day, I was getting out of the passenger side of a car, and I was dressed up nicely, and a man was driving into the spot next to me. When he saw me,
he said, "No rush, no rush, take your time!" I felt sort of funny because I thought I was moving in a rather timely manner.
I was polite to him, but there was a little feeling that maybe he thought I was OLD.
Haha!
08-15-2016 09:11 PM - edited 08-15-2016 09:12 PM
@AKgirl2 wrote:
@pggoody wrote:I don't like it when a store clerk calls me sweetie or " cute" names. Leaving Costco today the woman at the door called me " lovie" and told me to ve sure to drink lots of water. I felt as though she was making the comment because of my age. Yes, I know I am old enough to be someone's grandmother, but I am very active, fit, dress fashionably , am told I don't look my age. I had just left the gym so had workout clothes on and very little makeup. The way she made the comment , it made me feel OLD.
Guess I am just being sensitive.😳
I don't mind 'hon' or 'sweetie', never did. I do it myself! What j know I don't care for is 'mam'. Remembering vividly the first time I was addressed as 'mam' by a young grocery clerk, I was 33. I stood there kinda stupified and a bit embarrassed. Ouch...that was the first time I said 'do I look that old'! In my defense, I was a new mom and hardly getting any sleep. Good excuse😁
Your post reminded me that I do detest being called Miss or young lady. I'm in my 60s and those terms are just plain smarmy.
08-15-2016 09:14 PM
"Ma'am" is spoken in the Southern culture as a sign of respect.
08-15-2016 09:16 PM
It's much better than what they could call you.
I will never understand those who are offended by a kindness. Shrug.
08-15-2016 09:22 PM
@Imadickens wrote:Guilty as charged! I'm afraid I am another who calls others affectionate names! It's not meant to offend or be condisending, I was reared in a Southern family, we all did it! I always had pet names for my students, and as I got older I found my self doing the same with anyone with with whom I spoke. I understand some people don't like it and I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but it's second nature to me and I don't think I could stop now! As far as the water, I think she was just being nice, making chit chat. Better than telling you to go "F" yourself, which I've been told to do before!
Well, I don't know about that last statement. I am SO sick of it. I really don't mind when we are in a restaurant in the south where we love, and you get hon, and darlin and whatever. She's taking our order and food is coming and food is love and it seems ok and cozy to me. Actually I like that. It's sort of sweet in that context. She's standing right there, and that's different. We always chat with the wait staff too. . .
HOWEVER, I have recently asked several people why they called me "Miss" Name, and asked them to please not do that. Yes, I am old and probably at times someone might think I am senile for good reason, but I am not "Miss" so and so. I HATE that.
I had a PHONE OPERATOR at my insurance company call me "Miss" recently, now that's a new one on me. She was one of the ones I told please don't address me that way. That is way over the top.
08-15-2016 09:22 PM - edited 08-15-2016 09:24 PM
@catwhisperer wrote:"Ma'am" is spoken in the Southern culture as a sign of respect.
I have not really experienced that, never having lived in the South, but ma'am has become the neutral respectful salutation pretty much everywhere, I think.
I well remember the first time I was called ma'am in the grocery store - I felt officially Old, and I wasn't 30. Another time I was called ma'am somewhere and said something like "do you have to call me ma'am?" kind of jokingly and the checker came back with "well, what should I say?", perplexed. I realized he had a point, and I never let ma'am bother me again. They have to call you something! :-)
08-15-2016 09:23 PM
I don't use those terms much myself, but I have said "thank you, dear" to waitresses who are younger than me. People today are sometimes very rude and unless it is very obvious that they are being facetious, terms of endearment like "hon' or sweetie" seems preferable to rudeness.
08-15-2016 09:24 PM
Just don't call me dear, it makes me feel about 100 .
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