Among Friends

[LdyBugz]

Edited to add: I don't know the source of these.  Got them in an email with no reference to source!

Now That I'm Older………..  

My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.  

Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?  

How to prepare Tofu:  

    a. Throw it in the trash  

    b. Grill some meat, chicken or fish  

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.  

I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.  

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.  

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.  

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.  

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.  

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.  

I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.  

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.  

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.  

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  

When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.  

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.  

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.  

If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.  

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.  

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.  

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

[Mimi 1883]

@LdyBugz - These are really funny. Thanks for sharing. 

[deeva]

Cute. I can relate to all of these. 

[kaydee50]

@LdyBugz   THANKS for these!!!  Got my day off to a good start!

[tarytoo]

things here on the homefront, cause of health issues, have been pretty stressful. not alot to smile about. reading your quips this morning made me laugh. it was a great way to start the day. thanks.

[Shanus]

@tarytoo   Hope your "issues" ease up soon and you get more relief  giving you more to smile about. 

[January121]

@LdyBugz ... Thanks for sharing these 😃

[Terrywu]

Thank you for some laugh out loud statements.  So true.  Really enjoyed them.👍😀👍😀

[Swedishmiss]

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@tarytoo wrote:

things here on the homefront, cause of health issues, have been pretty stressful. not alot to smile about. reading your quips this morning made me laugh. it was a great way to start the day. thanks.

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Hope you are feeling better.  

[brandiwine]

Thanks for the laugh