Among Friends

[colleena]

@CalminHeart  Cherish the memories you have of your brother - you are blessed to have had such a good relationship w/him.

Something I have learned along the way is grief and how we deal w/it can be different for each of us & that's okay.  

[OKPrincess]

[Puppy Lips]

So sorry for your loss. I am close to tears now myself.

My in laws were big church goers, and my husband and I went many times with them, both at the same church and ones in different cities.  After my father in law died in, I think it was 2003, I could not handle church any more.  It was the songs. The congregation would start to sing and I would break down in tears.  I could hear my father in law singing along, as he had a beautiful voice.  I would get upset and sometimes leave to go to the bathroom.  My husband would get upset because I got upset.  We repeatedly tried to go to church and it never got better.  So we just stopped going.  It was not because we were mad at God, it was just because of the words of the hymns and the memories.  Since, then, all three other parents have passed.  Sometimes when I am in Hobby Lobby, they play a familiar song, and I start to get choked up yet again.  We still don't go to church, and frankly, I don't miss it.

I have not read the other comments, but I am sure they have given you helpful suggestions.  Take comfort in the fact that he is no longer in pain and with your mother.  Every day will get better.  Be sure to get outside in nature and get out and do things as you feel like it.  I have not lost a sibling yet, but I can not imagine it.  But that day will be here soon enough.  Take care of  yourself.

[cindyNC]

@CalminHeart  I envy you for the close relationship you had with your brother. The harder we love, the deeper we grieve.  I'm so sorry you are going thru this but admire your for knowing about available resources, understanding what you are going thru,  are aware of your limits and are kind to yourself. 

[elated]

I am so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. It will take a long time to just feel like you can cope with everyday life. If you can, find a one or two things each day that still bring happiness into your life.

Do you have a pet? They bring so much joy when we need support. If not, maybe take a short walk or watch a show that makes you forget your grief for awhile.  Be kind to yourself. Wishing you well. Take care.

[qualitygal]

Everyone comes to the point, of finding out how they can handle the loss/losses and go on.  It takes time.  It's a lot of tears.  Quiet time, let's us think of many things and I think of it as coming to terms.  It's OK.  Whatever and however it takes.  I think rest helps too. Sleep helps to let the mind and body rest.  

Wish you luck, go easy on you.  However long it takes, so what.  Time like air, free.

[RedTop]

I have 2 friends who have attended Grief Share counseling and benefitted tremendously from the program.  However, neither attended so soon after their loss; they started more in the 4-6 month time frame, when they had moved forward a little and were more comfortable participating in the group.

Continued prayers for peace in your heart.  

[spiderw]

When we lose someone we love and are close to we go through a journey and process of the pain of grief.  The tears flow and we struggle to get through each day and night.  It is difficult and the sadness overwhelming.

Then one day the pain subsides, the sun peeks through the clouds and we begin to live again.  We have our cherished memories of the person who passed, we cling to having shared their lives and we find the strength within to move on.  No one can put a time on mourning but if you need help, do try the grief group again.  

I wish you a path to peace of mind, being able to move forward and find yourself healing.  We all experience loss and we somehow manage to survive and live our lives again.  Take each day as it comes and know that peace will find you.

[Kachina624]

@CalminHeart    I'm so sorry you in such a difficult time in your life.  It sounds as though you are and have been surrounded by illness and hardship.  Perhaps it's all affecting your outlook on life.

It might help to get out and see other people, friends or associates.  Do something you enjoy or are interested in, have some fun, find a distraction.  For your own mental health, you need to make yourself do other things.

Please get back to your support group as soon as you're able.  Perhaps you need to discuss your situation with your doctor.

[Spacrazy]

@CalminHeart  You and your family will remain in my prayers. Look at the wonderful responses you are receiving here and know you are the hearts of so many. I hope you can draw strength from these wonderful responses and know you are not alone.