Among Friends

[on the bay]

@house_cat -

There are so many things.

I learn a lot from my kids on what is different now.

Car seats-I need a map!

All kinds of "sippy cups", and complicated bottles that take a lot of time to clean and take apart and put back together again!

no playpens-I don't know how we would have done without them when needing to tend to something for a few minutes, but today I know many parents who think they are restrictive and like a little prison.

sleep training and actual bedtimes-I really admire them for sticking with it. I couldn't do anything like it.They say things like crying -"they are learning to self soothe." I just end up crying with them!

They are more inclined to let them learn by doing, including a few bruises here and there but I think that was true when my children were young-you were the kind of parent that never wanted their children to get hurt at all (raising my hand) and those who were much more relaxed about occasional falls and what they were comfortable with them doing.

I always listen to what my children want for their children and follow what their wishes are. I always ask if something is ok if I have a question.

But since I help a lot in watching and being with them, I don't feel reluctant to ask questions or tell them my thoughts or opinions. I try to praise them a lot though because I know every parent needs that encouragement.

And sometimes my son in law will say, oh wait you raised 3!

Yes I did and they are great "kids!"

All of my children are pretty much the same regarding what foods but they do have different methods of introduction. That depends on the child too and how good they are at chewing and swallowing.

They do a lot of things differently but I feel they are wonderful parents.

And there is no better feeling then getting that rushing hug welcome from the grandkids everytime you come thru the door!

[house_cat]

@on the bay 

Your examples are what I imagined I'd hear when I posted. My friend said her DIL who is expecting was told not to eat sushi during pregnancy.  Since I don't like sushi and don't remember it being a "thing" when I was young, that's a new one to me. 

I crocheted a beautiful afghan for my coworker's new baby and she sent me a lovely thank you note - in it she mentioned that the baby was not allowed to have a blanket in the crib. 🤷‍♀️

I also know that doctors strongly caution against putting infants to sleep on their tummies. In my day, we were told that was the safest way to lay them down.

[on the bay]

@house_cat -

Yes, all of those!

My daughters didn't eat sushi while pregnant.More danger of possible bacteria and also high in mercury.

I never remember even knowing about sushi when they were babies.

And yes no blankets which I understand but think aw don't they get cold-but then they had the snuggie things that looked like a baby wrapped in a hotdog type thing.

Then they discovered the Snoo!

Something like out of a science fiction movie that actually works!

Very expensive to buy but can be rented and it did work for my daughter and daughter in law! 

And yes I do remember we were told to put them on their stomach while sleeping! Things do seem to change every decade, hopefully as we learn more it gets safer.

Oh one more-I always read no honey until 2 years old.

Now it's after one year is supposedly ok (they don't have the digestive enzymes for it and it can turn to botulism).

I'm sure we will constantly learn many more as time goes on.

But I still think and tell them that after I read every parenting book I could, finally felt a mother's instinct is most always the truest and the best!  

[mom2four0418]

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@house_cat wrote:

@on the bay 

Your examples are what I imagined I'd hear when I posted. My friend said her DIL who is expecting was told not to eat sushi during pregnancy.  Since I don't like sushi and don't remember it being a "thing" when I was young, that's a new one to me. 

I crocheted a beautiful afghan for my coworker's new baby and she sent me a lovely thank you note - in it she mentioned that the baby was not allowed to have a blanket in the crib. 🤷‍♀️

I also know that doctors strongly caution against putting infants to sleep on their tummies. In my day, we were told that was the safest way to lay them down.

---

But now the safest way for infants to sleep is on their backs, with nothing in the crib. Things change because research does. 

[Love my grandkids]

Late DH and I were sooo lucky. Both of us and my DDIL's parents were integral family members. We had the option to attend events or not, but we usually did.

I went to every single swimming lesson as family was allowed to sit in the upstairs gallery. My grandgirls loved it that we came.

We often had little family get togethers "just because". I can't even imagine families in which grands aren't included.

A few times I was asked for a little advice which I gave with the caveat "this is just my take on it'. A couple of times my DDIL said " wow I like that idea.'

I'm crazy about my family and they love me. What more can I ask for?

[Love my grandkids]

@mom2four0418 My son is 50 and when he was born the thinking was even then to put babies on their backs. I had put bumper tie on pads on the crib but was advised to dump them as he could roll against one and suffocate.

They went in the trash!

[CalminHeart]

Things change. My grands are being raised differently than I was and different than I raised my kids.  Not a big deal. I do what they ask and keep opinions to myself.  Grandparents should never butt in or offer opinions. 

[on the bay]

I think it's kind of sad if grandparents aren't encouraged to voice any views at all.

I respect my parents and my grandparents so much and love(d) to hear their stories.

Though probably very different, I think each generation can learn so much from each other at the same time respecting both of their roles as parents and grandparents.

[CelticCrafter]

The first time I heard sleep training I had to google it.  I still don't know what the h3!! it is but I had no trouble with my daughter sleeping or falling asleep when she was a baby.

[hckynut]

@house_cat 

I am not nor have I ever been a parent of a human child. Needless to say, not a grandpa. However, like so many other things anyone paying attention can't help but noticing, is and has been child rearing.

A person need not have an offspring to see and relate to the differences over many decades. Anyone here ever remember sitting with a mixed gender group and having both genders through around F bombs like they were 1 of the 8 parts of speech?  It wasn't any mixed group I associated with, and a few of my groups weren't exactly angelic.

I worked with youth age groups from 6 years old through high school, in addition to adults, for over 50 years, and the differences were not subtle. Anyone in those positions that didn't notice this?  Had to have been sleep walking through their adult positions.

Parents shape their offspring and are still in a position to set their "own rules". Is it harder to do so because of different social "norms"? Of course! Should that be a reason to change "their rules? 

My up close, but non parental view.

hckynut