Got Yelled at for trying to help

grandma petes · ‎03-09-2010

While grocery shopping on Saturday, I saw a woman on a mobility scooter and on oxygen as well, drop an item she was trying to put in her basket. She was struggling to pick it up, so I went over and offered to help....well, that was a mistake. She became very defensive and in a very loud voice said, “I can stand....maybe I should just get a shirt that says “I Can Stand” so people will leave me alone”

To say I was shocked is an understatement. My mother spent the last 10 years of her life in a wheelchair and my brother had cerebral palsy, so I am empathetic to the struggles involved with limited mobility.

I’ve never encountered someone responding like this to someone just trying to help. I actually got tears in my eyes and felt so sad for both of us....sad that her response was so unkind and sad at how unhappy she must be. Even other shoppers looked a little stunned at how she was acting. So, I said a little prayer for her in hopes she had a better day.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@grandma petes I know how you feel it’s happened to me . The woman was embarrassed & perhaps angry at herself for having to struggle.I get it. But bless you for trying to help. Her anger though directed at you really had nothing to do with you.

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

@grandma petes Similar incident happened to me. Lady on mobility scooter was slumped over and appeared unconscious in the produce department. I called the manager over, was was told to "mind my own business"......

♥Surface of the Sun♥

Boomernichols · ‎11-22-2013

@grandma petesCudos for your kindness! It sounds like you had an unfortunate encounter with someone who perhaps has a mental illness or anger issues instead of a mobility issue.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I am so sorry this happened to you. But in reality it is a misconception that all well-intended "help" is readily accepted, welcomed and thanked.

There are people on this earth who don't want help, refuse it, spit on it and won't hear of it. Nothing you can do about it, so when you encounter it simply say "sorry" and go on. It is their issue not yours.

And that includes elderly parents who won't accept help and their kids get "why don't you's" from everyone; kids who don't listen, etc. etc. Bottom line you can't live someone's life the way they should for them.

Not directed at OP, but it took me a long long time to learn this the hard way. So it's sort of a "thing" with me. Maybe it will help someone dealing with this type of thing if I say it here once in a while.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

You tried. It was kind of you to say a prayer too. We don't know what else she might be struggling with.

DREAMON · ‎03-09-2010

@grandma petes ,

She might be so angry that she can no longer stand and do what she did in the past. You offered her help with kindness and there is nothing else you could have done. Your prayers were needed I am sure.

PinkyPetunia · ‎03-09-2010

No good deed goes unpunished. Thank you for trying to help.

aprilskies · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you for trying to help, I will always help someone that may be in need. I have never gotten that reaction but if I ever do I will try and just be gracious about it. It is more about them than you. You handled it wonderfully.

Just yesterday a scooter seemed to give out on an older lady in the middle of the aisle. Wasn’t going to just walk by while she was struggling so I helped her. Didn’t do much just called someone but when I went back to tell her she was able to get in moving again but was grateful for the help. Some people are angry for one reason or another.