Re: Got Yelled at for trying to help

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

I think most people are good-hearted, and have an innate belief that others are, too. So when someone is really rude out of the blue...it comes as a bit of a shock!

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

@grandma petes wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
It may have been your tone. Was it condescending? I hated adults talking down to me when I was a child.

All I asked was “can I help you with that?”. I would never be condescending to anyone. After many years as a caregiver to my Mother and Brother...both in wheelchairs, my only intention was to be helpful and sincere in my concern to make her day a little easier. There were many instances in caring for them that an act of kindness such as holding a door open or lending a hand when needed would have been appreciated so very much. That was what I tried to do for her.

I apologize, I meant to say that she interpreted that way, not that you were somehow at fault which is how my unfortunate post was worded.

grandma petes · ‎03-09-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
@grandma petes wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
It may have been your tone. Was it condescending? I hated adults talking down to me when I was a child.

All I asked was “can I help you with that?”. I would never be condescending to anyone. After many years as a caregiver to my Mother and Brother...both in wheelchairs, my only intention was to be helpful and sincere in my concern to make her day a little easier. There were many instances in caring for them that an act of kindness such as holding a door open or lending a hand when needed would have been appreciated so very much. That was what I tried to do for her.
I apologize, I meant to say that she interpreted that way, not that you were somehow at fault which is how my unfortunate post was worded.

Thanks @occasionalrain @I appreciate you taking the time to reply again. No need to apologize. Thanks for your kind words.😊

violann · ‎03-10-2010

I’d be more likely to pity her for her TRULY lousy attitude than any problem she had with ambulation.

grayhairdontcare · ‎02-03-2019

Kudos to you for showing kindness and empathy. Both thise qualities are sorely lacking in todays world. Just remember that interaction says more about them than you. I find many people in those situations are just miserable for many reasons we may never understand. I work in healthcare, I am also the parent of a special needs young adult so I have walked the walk in both camps and I have seen the good, the bad + the ugly of this community. Just know in your heart you did the right thing by offering to help. It was their loss that they reacted in hostility.

Shawnie · ‎03-10-2010

You did what any feeling person would do. I would have done the same thing, and probably engaged her. “How would we know that you do not want any assistance? Do you want to live in a world where people walk on by? Maybe you should make a sign that says “I need no assistance”. Now sit in your cart and tell me what i can get for you.””

Shawnie · ‎03-10-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
@CelticCrafter wrote:
I was in Michaels on Saturday and was looking at something way down on the bottom shelf - floor level - I was wishing there was someone else in the aisle with me because I had a hard time getting myself back up. I should have known better than to stoop down that low to look at something. If I have something to lean on I can get myself back up but I was afraid to lean on the shelves for fear of pulling them down on top of me.

I can relate to that. Before my knee replacement surgery, I would sometimes have trouble getting up out of a chair that didn't have two arm rests or none at all. Sometimes, I could manage it but sometimes I couldn't. I never hesitated to ask for help. I'd just explain "I have bad knees, can you help pull me up, please?" You should never hesitate to ask for help when you need it. I never had any one refuse or be anything except kind.

I am right there with you two. A couple of items i buy are always on the bottom shelf. I always look for assistance, an employee or a young man or woman to get it for me, I don’t explain, i just ask.

Pooky1 · ‎12-23-2015

grandmapetes. i understand that from her end of it and allso from your end. i have multiple sclorosis and i was allways very independent and i still am but sometimes doing things is more of a struggle. my mil will try to do things to help and i sometimes i snap at her allso. one time i said i dont like to be blank babyed. i wouldnt react like that to someone in public though.i will allso thy to help someone stuggling out in public . some people do apprciate help and some dont. but it sometimes makes us feel useless and not like we use to be. and it can be very frustrating that were not like we use to be. so for me you offering to help the person that reacted very hush to you its not anything you did wrong. you were being very kind to offer to help the person. i hope this helps you understand where she was coming from . if i wrote anything that offended you i totally didnt mean to. and good luck .

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

This woman’s mobility handicap is overshadowed by her decency handicap. I always ask if a handicapped person wants my help, as the original poster did...opening a door or, in the case of a blind man in France, helping him across the street. He was thrilled that an American offered assistance. When I read the story in the original post, I was reminded of the old cynical idea...no good deed goes unpunished.