I saw where I got a lot of happy faces (or whatever it's called).
Could that be because most (I don't like to use the word..."every" because there are always exceptions) mom and/or Dad has experienced something similar to what I told my daughter.
Actually, she (the oldest) wasn't too 'bad' about initially going out late at night...here's a quick story on how we cured that one.
OK, so she was a senior in high school. Now we live kinda out a little bit (a lot of one lane each way roads, especially back then)....so, you can understand our worrysome nature.....
None of my girls dated a lot (often my husband made) (well..strongly suggested) the oldest daughter bring along her exactly 2 years younger sister....on some dates...
So, where was I? OK, so she was a Senior in high school and left the house with this real nerdy guy (he was cute but nerdy).
She was told to be back by or before 12:00...Well...12:00 came and no daughter...by then my husband was more than a little upset.
He got in his car and rode around looking for her.....
Not long after he left, she showed up with her date lagging behind.
I swung open the door and the first thing I said was, "Your Dad left the house....he's looking for you both".
OMG! If you could have seen this poor guy, My late husband was about 6' but he worked out every single day and weighed about 212 (all muscle). He'd have never touched the kid, of course, but when he yelled, the whole house shook.
Anyway, daughter comes in and tells her 'friend' good-night at the door. He goes flying out into the night...
Just as he pulled out of the driveway, I saw lights...Ohhhhhh!!!! M!!! G!!! (OMG!) Dad's home!
My husband turned the car around and (he told me this) pulled up alongside this poor kid and said, "I respect my family. I expect you to respect me and my family. If you are going to date my daughter, you WILL respect us enough to make sure you get my daughter home when we TELL you to". If you feel that you can't show us you will abide by OUR rules don't come around here ever again.
He said the young guy started to say something and my husband told me he said, "Unless it was a real emergency as to why you were late, I don't want to hear any excuses". Then he headed home.
He talked to our daughter and explained to her it's always about respect for each other. He explained it isn't about keeping track, etc, it's about being kind and not making us worry.
That's how we treated our daughters. From the very beginning they learned it wasn't about keeping track of them or not trusting them. It was about being kind and not making us worry about where they were.
From then on, we never had any trouble from any of our daughters. They were home within in the allotted time.
I was just reminding this oldest daughter about that night when we talked. SHE reminded me of how it stuck with her.
It still does to this day. My youngest daughter texts or calls me every night and sometimes in the morning. I heard from the others frequently too.
It's all about respect for each other's feelings. Once you make a kid understand they aren't stupid, they get that you're not trying to keep track, you just worry.
Let's just see if she was able to get that through to the first kid going off to college.
I told her today that she will need to learn to rely on everything she's taught the kid from the time she was born.
Her judgment will be tested over and over. She'll make mistakes but if she learns from them....that's what matters.
There's a joke in our family. I never really had to punish my girls because all I had to do is say, "Are we going to have to talk to your Dad about this". I'd hear a very loud, "Nooo"!
He was the one who followed through and if he said, "Go to your room"...they'd better go and stay there.
Me, I'm a pushover. I only mention all of this stuff because dollars to donuts many of you are the same way, right?
It's either you or your mate who's the pushover.
But my girls knew when they pushed and pushed and begged...I'd start singing, "Jesus Loves Me, Yes I Know For the Bible Tells Me So". That's my way of saying, "I'm controlling my anger. They've pushed too far and it's kinda like, "What would Jesus do". Ha!
When I post all of this 'stuff' it's because I firmly believe as much as we are different....we are similar.
Sometimes just knowing and understanding that can make a lot of difference in how we deal with others and see our lives.
In other words everyone is dealing with "STUFF" that's what I call it.
That's why I'm such a supporter; because single mothers have all that STUFF on their shoulders.
I lived with a single mother (my sister). I saw the struggle first hand.
I admire and respect single mothers more than any group of people...they are raising citizens of the world like all mothers but they have to do it alone (or pretty much alone).
Now my brain hurts...Bill is angry because he hasn't been able to sit on my boobs/chest (remember, they run together).
I like to pretend he likes to hear my heartbeat but then I remember, he always lays on the right side and last I checked my heart was on the left! Ha!
Good night you wonderful, dear friends.
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